Thursday, December 20, 2012

Is being a girl my mistake??

You are happy to hear her tiny giggles,
Pinks suddenly seem apt,
She is the apple of your eye,the doll, the princess,
Her birth brings you joy,
You wanna give her every happiness possible for you and sometimes make even the impossible possible,
Dad's princess, Mum's sweetheart, Brother's loving sister, she is there.. like a happy rainbow smiling in your house :)
You want her to study hard, get the best of everything,
You even digest the bitter syrup of sending her away to far away town to study,
She brings colors to your life...
Your daughter !!

She is generous to share the icecream she saved in the freezer,
You know its a couple of cute words and she'd always keep your secret secret,
She'll stand by you no matter what... your friend when you are lonely,
And still there like a star shining in the dark, when you are surrounded by your friends,
You know you'll always have her, no matter what, she'll always be yours..
Your sister !!

She is there to hear your rants, to digest your anger,to share your happiness, to cook your favorite dishes, to give you a fresh towel when you shout from the bath, to remind you all the birthday's and anniversary's which you cannot remember, to share with you all you sorrows, to let you experience the power of creation..
Your lover, your wife !!

She is the hand that rocked your cradle.
Right from keeping you safe in her womb till the time she breathes her last, she'd be there for you, no matter what..
Your mother!!

And so many other roles - she might be your friend, your neighbor, a teacher you adore, a colleague you like or just the gal whom you happen to cross on the road ...

She is not safe today...
This world has become so unsafe...
I am so very sad and disturbed... How could this have possibly happened.. I mean rape a 23 year old girl, for God's sake people.. Where was your conscience ? What exactly was in your mind when you did what you did... No fear of God at all ?? Why... The emotional and physical turbulence...this is heart shattering...
I mean, I travel alone to and fro office, sometimes I do get late, sometimes I do not get a rickshaw and end up walking to the bus stop, I have friends who go later than me, who do once in a while get into private buses/taxis to reach home,most of the times we are alone or with a couple of more friends, but what in Christ's sake would we do if faced by so many people who have nothing but evil minds? 
Staying inside can be dangerous, you never know who is thinking evil about you, going out is dangerous , you never when you can become a victim..... then what should a girl do?

Confused and trapped,
I cannot move myself,
Who are you to apply a T&C apply to my life..
Just because I am a girl?
My life is colorful, or that's at least how I imagine it to be...
And you come and put me into bars..
You tell me to dress from head to toe, but do you not target women who are dressed appropriately(according to you),
You restrict my movement at night, but does your lust not hurt women in broad day light too...
You think just because I am a girl you  have a right to abuse, hurt, treat my body as an object you can do anything with?
Why don't you fear the Lord?
Why doesn't any fear grip you thinking about your mother/daughter/wife or sister ?
Why don't your hands stand up for my security rather than hurting me?
Think before you act man...

My one wish that came true and gave me immense joy...

And then them coming true :)
Feels like heaven, doesn't it?

So here's my one wish (out of many many) which came true and the joy it gave me then was uncomparable. The joy I get now just thinking it happened is enough to make me smile while I write this.. So here's raising the red curtains :)
I have always been real close to my parents.My sibling and I are left free to voice our opinions, we are encouraged to share anything and everything we want to, we are allowed to cry in front of them when we are weak... It's a beautiful relationship.. It was Dad's 49th birthday. Dad had been forcing me to come home a day before. I was too tired, but then I relented. My sibling couldnt make it amd promised to be home on the birthday. So, when we started our usual celebrations at 12:00 night, digging-into-the-mushy-gooey-cake-and-then-opening-the-gift-and-reading-the-card-ceremony, I took a moment, dashed towards Dad and hugged him. I told Dad I love him. (This was my wish people!!)

Now this may not seem an out of world thing, but I had never before told him that I loved him. I put it down in the cards, had it in my mind but never did I muster my strength to actually tell Dad that I loved him. So, ever since I must have grown up this was my first hug and first "I love you" to the most important man in my life :) :) If you are reading this Dad, you must have already sensed my apprehension and my wait for mum to go to the kitchen so that I could hug you...

But that was one wish I wished for and when it came true it gave me immense joy :)

I lost my Dad 12 days after this birthday and its terrible..

But thinking back, I am so happy I hugged him and told him that I loved him...

So all you people, if you love some one, no matter who they are, tell them you love them, dont just wish and never try to make it true... coz life is short and you don't really know what lies ahead..

This is my post on "My one wish that came true and gave me immense joy...." writing prompt by Preeti Shenoy :) Waiting for Preeti's new book :)

Have a look at the cover ...

All the best Preeti !! Am waiting to read the book :)

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Eternal peace!!

The night is dark,
Its raining heavily,
No shelter,
No light,
No warmth,
No security...
I feel alone,
I feel unsafe,
Cold and dark,
Looking for solace...

“But listen to me. For one moment
quit being sad. Hear blessings
dropping their blossoms
around you.” 
― Rumi

A light shines and the world looks like a better place!!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Lost in trance...

Bold and bright
And everything right,
Sugar and spice
And everything nice...
That is what I am,
That is what I outta be…
No hurt, no pain,
It’s like a dash of rain,
Pouring now,
And stopped again….
You cannot hurt me
You can bring me no pain,
Coz I’ll stand against it
And your try is in vain!!
I do not say I am too strong,
I would not say my tears don’t fall
But all I know is,
I will get up every time I fall!
If I give you a chance to enter my life,
To see me beyond the mask,
To love and be loved…
Don’t take the privilege to hurt me at off-limits..
Yes I have them and I’d stand by them!!
Coz as you know, and if you don’t lemme tell you..
I have the power,
              To make everything right,
                             Bold and bright..
             To make everything nice,
                             Sugar and spice…
And then I let my hair down,
Swooned by the music,
Lost in trance…
Nothing can stop me now :)

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Crying Alone.....

I cry alone..
tears of joy,
tears of pain,
tears of blood
and tears hidden in the rain..
I cry alone..
So, the next time I stand,
I face the world and say
Bring it on,
I am tougher and stronger than before..

Saturday, December 15, 2012

I quit..

An excruciating pain grips my jaw,
I cannot feel my feet, they are numb...
My other wise comfortable and warm blanket has nothing to offer tonight,
As I twist and turn praying for some sleep,
My weary eyes, tired and swollen, cease to close...
Blinking brings in more pain,
My throat is choking and so is my nose,
Have to use my mouth to breathe...
Till when the torture,
Till when the torment,
Till when will I stand this God?
Where are you God,
You promised you'd carry me when I am too weary...
But all I can see are marks of my swollen feet...
Liberate me of the pain and sufferings,
Free me from this world of mortals,
Cause love doesnt nurture love back
but hatred and hurt surely bring hatred and hurt back, so what if they were intentional or unintentional...
I don't understand this world of revenge,
I don't want to understand how tears go unnoticed... or rather termed as crocodile tears...
I so don't want to be a part of this bad bad word....
I let go...
I quit...

And a wild current of wind carries away the last leaf and makes the tree barren......
Aahhh the cruel winters!!

Friday, December 14, 2012

And I always thought, no mistake was big enough if you really loved someone...

I know I am wrong,

I made a mistake bigger than the mountains.. but I really am sorry

My sorry doesn't count anymore,

My tears no more move you..

I am just a botheration...

You don't want to see me around,

You don't want to hear my voice..

I am the worst person ever..

And I always thought, no mistake was big enough if you really loved someone...

As you said, it would hurt for some days, and then everything will be fine,

But how will I live with this burden?

You hate me now,cannot tolerate me..

That hurts and you say I will get hurt for hurt..

But I never meant to hurt you,

I now know I did hurt you a lot...

But I really din't wish too...

I want to make up to you..

But my being around makes you numb already

Tell me, how then will I try to break the ice?

How then will I try to make you smile once again,

How then will I ever ever show you I really am sorry for what I did.

If only,

there was some way for me to prove that I wouldnt repeat my mistake,

there was some thing I could do to make myself bearable to you,

there was some thing I could do to bring back your smile..

If only....

And I always thought, no mistake was big enough if you really loved someone...

Today I know,

I was so wrong to think so..

My first zentangle...

Beautiful... Lets me draw my mind....
Now I know why I love scribbling :P
Scribbling can be so much fun!!

Her sunshine!!

Colorful – that is what you make my life,

Bliss and happiness surrounds me, when I think of you,

The naughty wind teases me,

Makes my hair sway,

Makes me feel you are nearby,

You are God sent,

You make me complete,

You make me feel beautiful,

You are the sunshine of my life!

                                        Keep shining !!!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The three things I badly wish I could have are..................................

The three things I badly wish I could have are..................................

1. A perfect body to die for….
Who doesn’t wish for this especially when you’ve had it once upon a time and now all you look at is flab flab flab..
I so wish to be like I was 2 years back…

2. More time…
Time to do things I love..
To learn dancing, painting, sketching…
To dance as if I have been set free.. To wear those ballet shoes and swing to soft music..
To write every feeling I feel..
To read every book in my wish list.. To read every unread blog on my reader..
To spend countless days with people I love
To rest, to cook the numerous recipes I note down… and so much more

3. A life partner who'd understand me and whom I'd understand
Loneliness kills.. I want someone whom I can look forward too.
Some one who'll make me feel special and I'd do everything to make him feel special too..
Some one who'll take me in his arms when I want warmth, some one whom I can hug when they are tired or low...
Some one who loves me, some one for me to love :)

This is my post on the "Wish List Wednesday" on Preeti Shenoy's blog..

I so love your books Preeti...
Waiting to read this one :) Good Luck!!!

Moments to cherish!

 When Veer was really little and wanted to nap he would climb in my lap and hold onto my neck. In a sitting position and holding me tight, h...