Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Why do things matter even when we decide they wont affect us??

          I had a history of working late and working more than I could. That explains the 10 minute lunch breaks, skipped snacks, the multiplying kilos and added inches. But when such works goes unnoticed and unappreciated, really doesn't make you feel good.Strangely enough, I have no appraisal and no promotion, when I have worked as smart as I could and as hard as my mind and body permitted. And I know that its way better than most of the others. And no, I am not comparing..
         Its like that story of 3 kids. When they were given some work to do and they did it wrong - Kid A's teacher tells her the mistake and helps her correct it, Kid B's teacher just tells her that something is wrong and the kid tries working on it . As for the kid C , the teacher just makes a big red mark on her book and also gets angry. As time treads, kid A learns under the teacher's guidance and becomes a bright student, kid B is a mediocre one while C is just like she was... So, if you dont tell mistakes, dont tell ways to improve, dont appreciate, things really cannot work.
        While I know , I have a lot of pending work and the clock is already showing a 7:47 pm, I still dont feel motivated to work. How different it feels when you are motivated and happy about your work !! When I did feel happy (though never motivated *sigh*) about my work,but  zero appreciation and only bad words and negative feelings coupled with an awfully bad work environment cannot really help me..
        Time to call quits I believe, coz however much I work , however smartly, I know its not gonna work.. coz here "Manager" is the boss. So if you dont share a healthy relationship with them (though they might be of those typical types you wouldn't even talk to usually) forget that appraisal and promotion..
        So, as of now its Deepika signing off....
        Dont know why this is affecting me this much when I could already see it coming and had promised myself it wouldn't affect me... Anyways... maybe I am part of a masterpiece , bigger than this...


Tuesday, May 29, 2012


        Its not strange for me to get really angry on someone for doing something. I may even drop a couple of my precious tears in my sorrow. But the next thing I know, I am with them, doing things they like. Why? I dont understand...

        Why do I have to be like this? I know this harms me more than anything else. People have their own way, if they wish they talk else they dont, if they wish they meet me,call me, message me else they dont bother, then why cant I follow suit? Why am I like concerned about anybody and everybody? Why does everyone have to have a place in my heart???

Fed up of myself for this "angelic" attitude of mine...

Mirror mirror on the wall which is the dirtiest of them all LOLZ :P

Gone are the times when the magical mirror searched for the fairest face. Time for a change!!

          I could almost vomit when I entered the washroom @ Barista.. I mean you sell a cup of coffee at the cost of half kg coffee powder (though I entirely love the taste, so nothing bad about that), so why cant you keep the washroom's clean. I mean, such places are supposed to be clean right?

        And please, none of the other esteemed stores are behind. Be it McDonalds or CCD, the washrooms are aweful. So when you say that "A lot happens over coffee" and we people love spending so much of our time there, why not keep the washroom's clean? Why in a rat race for the magical mirror to select you as the dirtiest of the lot??

The dreary pimple.. yuck

         It was like one of those weary Monday mornings. As I got up and straightened my hair and put on my jogging shoes, something in the mirror made me worry. As I put on the lights and stepped in front of the mirror, the terror gripped me. There it was , shining in the meagre sun light gushing in my room. OMG, I had a pimple :(

          Having a history of clear skin with really very very less pimples through out my adoloscence, this sight dint really look good to my eyes. Each time I glanced at my right eyebrow, the pimple stood there nice and strong. Strange, you dont get them when you are a teenager and you get them now, when you are almost near your silver jubilee ...

Hope I dont impatiently ooze out the pus and blood.. ewwwww.. Sad start to a sadder monday morning...

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Yet another evening!!

May 21
6:30 pm : The urge to get up from office increases by leaps and bounds. The incomplete work mocks me. I force myself some more. The time runs fast.
6:45 pm : Enough of work , I tell myself. Ctrl+Alt+Delete. BBye work!! Cya tomorrow.
                Have been dying for a cuppa coffee since morning. Barista coupons from free recharge, so hello barista, bbye to good old friends CCD for today. Walk and walk, traffic, pollution, I curse the one way, can’t take an auto. Barista brings a smile. Hot cappuccino with 1 and ½ pouch of brown sugar – just right!! And how can I forget the music player singing all time classics. Relieved senses, happy me J
Time to leave. I pray, God send me a rick soon please. Ok, I get one. Thank you God.45 minutes and I am still on my way. Hate the traffic. As if he heard my mind talk, the auto driver nearly misses a Scorpio and almost bumps into an active as he tries to speed up. I cover my face with my hands. What if I die here in this auto I think. Time to write my will (not that I have anything precious to give away: P) Imagination runs wild just to stop at me bewildered of the thought of dying in this ok-ok top. Nope, I rule out , cant die in this top. The “Rajnikant” driver (Yes!! Of late this is my favorite adjective) takes sharp twists and turns pushing me out of my will and 100 things I wanna do before I die thoughts. And I am home... Wow home sweet home...
Perfect end to a not-so-perfect evening J

Born Lippy

The Mumbai moisture did little to moisten my over dry lips. As I opened my purse for the nth time to search for my lip balm. I cursed my choice of the purse, I mean why buy a purse with a single pocket. So difficult to search for things. After sulking at the thought and forcing out my sanitizer, scarf and wallet, I had my hands on my balm. Her highness – my raspberry lip balm ( Name :- Born Lippy Production house :- The Body Shop)lay peacefully in the purse.
                It is one of the most amazing lip balms. So all you beautiful gals , if you like a rich raspberry aroma lip balm which is delicious at the same time, this is your thing. Leaves a very mild pink shade on the lips and moisturizes them at the same time. So for all single gals, put it on and shout out loud, “Why should boys have all the fun!” . And for the not-single gals, treat for your partners :P
                As I opened the box, the rich aroma filled the car. As the gals dabbed on some lip balm, the guys had their senses tickling. Curious lads, as they are, thought they smelled hookah.. and so began the oh-so-boring-hookah-puran. All I did was sit mum and enjoy their imaginations running wild, searching for hookah parlors here and there.
                So all in all, it’s a treat for the senses.. Try it out!! I am already lovin it J


As a kid, I was always fascinated by clean books and neat handwriting. Dad’s business books were all well maintained, nice with bullet points, underlines, bold fonts. Mom’s handwriting was enough for her to pass in any exam without the contents even being read. So when I got my books, I wanted them to be as good as Dad’s and Mum’s. But with the elephants and horses I have for my handwriting and the slow hand, I usually ended up scribbling in my notebooks. Mum was astonished to see various font sizes, styles and decoration on a single page. When I crossed all extremes and wrote illegible stuff, I was allowed to tear that page and re-write and this time it turned out to be beautiful.
                Hope it was in the same fashion for life. Tear the unwanted, dirty, sorrowful pages and write beautiful and happy memories on them. But alas!!

Generation gap!

Mrs. Mommy was fuming when I reached home post a tiring weekday at office. Back from her evening walk, her otherwise cool temper was lost. I knew there was little I could do and so started thinking if I was the culprit behind it. Thankfully, I wasn’t…
And so she started, how can girls smoke, school girls who you’d expect playing badminton and cycling with their candies are smoking. I told mum, there was nothing unusual about this. It was a common thing in this wide world. Not that I approved of it, not that my approval  mattered. The teacher inside her spoke that kids need to be regulated. The discussion started from smoking and moved on to drinking and then PDA. I tried calming her down giving the art-of-the-fact reasons like people consider drinking and smoking as style statements etc. I was quiet when we spoke PDA coz according to me, it is a person’s personal choice. Nothing I said made sense to Mrs.Mommy.So she ruled it out as “Generation gap”
                As I went inside for my much-awaited shower, I thought to myself. If this really generation gap. I knew the answer was a big NO, as in these aspects I was one with mum, with the slight difference that I saw and moved on. Mum saw and wanted to change it.I do not really understand why people drink and smoke if they know the disadvantaged. Guys!! Gals hate smokers and gals, guys love going out with such gals (I am still affirmative that it’s a person’s choice to drink or smoke) but don’t wanna spend a life time with them. Worst of all, these things render our body useless. Your choice to make anyways...
Generation gap… so be it

Earthworm abundance

It all started with a small creepy slimy brown earthworm kiddie crawling my bathroom wall one morning. I gently used the broom to put it away. But such was its revenge that the next couple of days saw the entire clan of Mr.Worm enter my bathroom. What began with a tiny creature soon multiplies into its nuclear family, then to its joint family and now the entire clan. As every morning, I enter the washroom to have a bath, Mr.Worm and family waste ten of my precious minutes to carefully sweep them away before I open my luxurious body wash.
Not strange if in a couple of days, you read my post on “Earthworms on sale” :P


a.      The Om chanter
Before my 5:45 am alarm starts irritating me, he calls up to God. As if talking on some remote STD connection like we did in those days of landline phones, when shouting out loud was a necessity for people to hear you, he chants the oh so charming “Ommmmmmmmmmmm..” The only difference being he sounds as if calling God by His name, angry that his mum woke him up so early. He seems to awaken God from his sleep... How can God sleep, if I can’t? I have never seen him but he sounds in his pre-teens has that shrieking voice which wakes me with a startle. Though it’s been a couple of months of his revenge on God, but every morning he still startles me!
So, that’s my “Om chanter” friend for you people. Do not know his name, must have seen him sometime when I return from office and see the kids playing... Cannot make out which one is the “ONE” Thanks for being my alarm clock!
b.      The guy next door
Pune has seen many rickshaw strikes for a couple of months now, first the insurance issue followed by the tax they pay followed by the electric meters and the likes. So don’t feel strange if one sunny morning, when you get up late, have a nice body ache from the rigorous exercise you did yesterday evening, wore your sandals to work as you are already late and don’t wanna waste time tying laces and you don’t get the auto *fuming with anger*. In addition, the worst part being you had, a day earlier, informed all your friends about the rickshaw strike and you forget it yourself.
As I wearily picked up my legs to walk to the other rickshaw stand, there he was. He had just stepped out of an auto. He waved at me, which was our daily schedule whenever our paths crossed. I waved back. He kept the rickshaw waiting until I reached there. He informed me that the strike was going to start in some 15 odd minutes, so I’d rather rush to office. I thanked me, took the rick and reached office just in time... In addition, this incident repeated, coincidentally, every time there was a strike.
Now about my waving friends, he is the” guy next door”, literally. Uncle is the secretary of our society and has been a life saver each time there was no electricity or no water or no auto ;)

c.       The guy with the big eyes  and a  senseless mind
One of the strange incidents that I believe every girl has to face. Guys who’d just stare at you. Wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t smile just stare.. Don’t know why? I never understand the purpose behind. Am I too ugly or too beautiful, do I resemble a clown, what exactly?
So each time when I stretch my body ( read “Good exercises at work “ to stretch your body every 30 mins) I see him looking at me.. To avoid his big eyes( big and round , seem to pop out) I stretch opposite to where he sits. However, each time our paths cross, his stare continues. I visualize him like Noorie with a candle in his hand, singing “gunman hai koi”... Goose bumps…
Grow up dude!!
d.      The guy with the hair- dresser eyes
I am no actor; neither do I have a hairdresser dedicated to make my oh-not-so-perfect hair look nice every day. So when I come all messed up to office someday (read many days!!), he pings me and tells me ,”you are looking different today” . Yes right dude, when I am already having a bad hair today this is what I wanted to hear from you.
When I help myself with some hair accessories matching my attire, he has an eye on that too. So , before I am back from lunch to my desk, there he is with his comments (oh-so-cute or just right or even looking like a baby comments)
And on a good hair day (which is like a remote possibility) , his comments make me happy ;) Which gal doesn’t feel good on being complemented anyways!!
e.       The guy with the super sexy Range Rover
No, I do not know him, so do not ask me any more details. All I know is, he has this super sexy Range Rover, which I absolutely love. So when I am tired after a long day, cursing the rickshawala’s who don’t wanna drop me home because it’s out of their way(am I not paying for it!! *angry*), there he is resting his back on the black eyes princess. Wow, I love it... So forget the guy coz strangely enough (and mocking to my otherwise observant attitude) I dint even bother looking at him, coz I have my fill staring at the black baby!

Friday, May 18, 2012

Good bye size 0 , welcome curves!!

As I push myself for yet another km on the tread mill, the sweat trickling down my forehead, I swear not to eat those yummy doughnuts again( or wait not over eat them , can’t stop eating them), to crunch less on the French fries.. Alas, even if I do all this , reducing the existing extra kilos and inches looks like climbing the Mount Everest to me *sad*
As I browse the newspaper, I read the new mantra – Good bye size 0, welcome curves!!
Makes me feel good , so Friday evening can be enjoyed with another choco – filled chocolate doughnut. After all I should follow the trend.. :P
But then again as I stand in front of the mirror the flab mocks me.. With the fluctuating current in my nervous system on whether or not to eat doughnuts(Typical Libran mentality , cannot take a decision so soon!!) I get up and gulp down a glass of warm water with a dash of lime juice.
Even though the world welcomes curves, I know I need to slim.. Why is it such a Herculean task God? SOS *sob*

Of Puma’s and poop pickers…

You wear stylish puma shorts with equally high priced shirts and with pride take your dear dog to a morning walk. Shooing the other street dogs on the way , you enjoy your stroll. The sweeper is cleaning the road, the dust raising from the broom is allergic to your nose and for your lovely pet (I love pets, the sarcasm is intended towards you and not your dog)
You give me a glad smile with a big good morning wish; we’ve been seeing each other regularly during our morning walks. Then just in middle of nowhere (or wait in the middle of the wide clean street) you let your dog poop. You are still smiling at me until the poor pet finishes the ordeal, trying to strike a conversation. Another vain try and then you move with pride back home. The task for the day is done and the poop lies right in the center of the road.
I decipher your looks, you look educated. Maybe like one of us IT professional, looking for an onsite opportunity, thinking of the appraisal, blabbering about India not being clean, blah blah blah..Then why is it so difficult for an educated person like you to understand that you dog is not supposed to poop there on the road. People like us use these roads every day. Why can’t you get a poop picker and just clean the shit? Your pet doesn’t have hands neither can it go to the loo on its own, so why not use your senses to keep the road clean? Is the road supposed to be used for this purpose? Hate such educated illiterates *sigh*

And another day

Clock strikes 6. I want to get up. The extra kilos and inches don’t really work well with me. Do not feel like looking at the mirror. Wear my tee and tracks and start my morning walk.. I enjoy every minute of my walk.. Those 30 minutes freshen me up like nothing else.. 30 minutes of uninterrupted me time, which also means I have 30 minutes of uninterrupted music to hear too. As I pass the Shiv temple with Taylor Swift singing “Our song” ,a smile comes to my face. The weather is awesome, the sun shining but still not very bright, the greenery, the songs - everything makes me happy. I make mind notes of what to wear to office, of what to blog (blah blah blah) about of what to cook for breakfast, of how will the extra kilos and inches melt down my body .Me, my playlist and my dreams make a killer combination.
Climbing down the stairs post office, I long for fresh air. When the air makes my hair sway and takes away all the tension and sufferings of office, feels like heaven. I reach home to find the door locked, mum on her walking spree with the keys. I enter inside when mum comes back and to my dismay we are entertaining guests tonight, not that I have a problem with them (ok now I am lying, yes I have a problem. This is supposed to be my ME TIME)
“Hi! How are you” (that’s all I care about in this world after a tiring Thursday office, right?)
“Cutie pie cousins”(Damn both of them, my cell phone is strictly PRIVATE PROPERTY, why is he supposed to play games with my HTC?? My toys belong to me, who is she to play with it. Yuck, she is eating and using the same hand to touch my toy *angry*)
“Let’s go out for dinner together”(Yes lets go out, I am not cooking tonight neither am I letting mum cook)

It’s not that I hate them, it’s just that I want to have my ME time now. It’s difficult to love anyone if you wake up at 6 am and come back by 8:30 pm and continue this for 5 big days…
Anyways.. Enough of the drama
Waiting for the weekend!!

25th Anniversary

It’s my family tradition to celebrate silver anniversaries. Therefore, when it was time for the first silver anniversary in our family, everybody was very excited. We shopped, cooked and had a merry time. The ladies in the house dressed in all their grandeur and all the gentleman with their scotch glasses - perfect family bonding time. My Dad and I, as the enthusiasts we are, were planning mum-dad’s anniversary before they had completed even 20 years of their beautiful relation. We had decided on a menu. I had made a futile request – that if I’d be earning we’d celebrate the D-day together, only four of us.. Little did I know that we’d really have to spend it alone.. Nonetheless, here’s a record of the events of the day ,I promised Dad I’d make it wonderful for mum(hope I did!!)
After a secret sneak in my house to hide the gifts in my roommate’s room, Mum, my brother and me had a silent dinner. Such are the difficult times that considering each other, you can neither smile nor cry (*sob*) .Everything was perfectly arranged.
12 on the clock and my brother and I were ready with those millions of plans we had in mind. We woke mum up, crowned her; after all, she was the queen. It was her day. The star of the night - the yummy black forest cake (from Pastry corner, Mum, Dad and my brother’s favorite) stood in all its pomp and show. After the cake cutting ceremony and my usual tantrums on not wasting the cake by applying on skin (It’s a sin to waste cake!)  started the ‘gifts ka silsila’ Instead of one huge gift, I like multiple gifts..
The man of the house, my brother gave mum a bouquet with 25 red roses. Mum loves roses. She was content with the roses and the cake, started wrapping up. Nevertheless, that was not even near the end. I had brought a card for mum and the “Best Brother” certificate for my brother. I love cards, so even if they do not they have to bear cards for me.I gifted them the Fab India kurtis I had promised myself some time back and got the expected “bear hug” from my brother. He loves clothes, so do I but hates shopping so I had just saved him some shopping time!
                We gifted mum a huge huggable Archies teddy bear. According to me, it is a must-have whatever age you are. Quietly and cutely, soft toys assimilate all our feelings, be it sorrow or joy. In addition, no issues of secrets being leaked.
                What followed next was the jewel in the crown literally, my biggest and most expensive gift until now to mum – a Cygnus diamond pendant. Time stood testimony to one of the most beautiful moments when mum wore it. Like every diamond lover, mum wore it with a childlike gist. Promised mum matching earrings and ring in the months to come.
                After the ‘gifts ka silsila’ was time for a big family hug. We all wanted to shred our tears but knew we couldn’t, cautious enough not to make the other two weep. So when mum went to change into her night suit, my cute little baby brother ( that’s what I call him, when I am not angry) and I hugged, enough for both of us to say those gentle prayers and send our wishes to Dad.
Happy anniversary Mum Dad. We love you. The only thought that is not leaving my mind is, Mum has brother and me, but Dad you must be all alone. Very sad to be away from family on such an occasion. Miss you Dad!!
P.S. -  Saw the date? It reads 12.5.2012.. Happy 25th anniversary J

How expectations hurt!

It was raining. Like any other girl, she wished he were with her. He was a busy man. No doubt, his big paycheck secured her a promising future. But what about the present? She so much wanted him to be with her, take her is his warm arms, sipping coffee or just get drenched in the rain. She called him. He was too busy to receive. After an hour her cell beeped, “Busy darling.TTYL”
Her mind knew the message, but her heart wanted it to be something else. She made herself the special coffee (which he adored and loved once upon a time), picked up her favorite novel and sat in the balcony, still wanting to be with him. He called her when he was done with his work. He was too tired to drive. He knew (and so did she) that she wouldn’t insist on meeting. So, in her little heart with the sunlight died this small expectation of hers to be with him.
An incomplete story, a very usual one too …
We have so many expectations. Thought we may sometimes decide we wouldn’t expect but in the end, we do start expecting. And just like babies expectations grow really fast. When a person like me starts expecting things but not expressing (coz I know they wouldn’t be met, not that I am presuming, assuming and concluding, I am talking experience) my heart becomes so crowded with these teeny weeny dreams that sometimes I look for a ctrl-alt-delete to my heart. And no I don’t want a delete button,coz that would still keep the things in my recycle bin. Sadly enough, God did not give us the option to permanently delete unwanted stuff from our ROM’s.
Anyways  however much I try, I can’t get rid of these

Of presumptions, assumptions and jumped to conclusions

How impatient can we be! Without knowing anything, we just assume, presume and conclude, not in the entire world bothering to know what the truth is, not giving a chance for people to clarify themselves.
                I told you I loved you and only you, but you had a mindset ready. With your calculations that already proved me guilty, all you could then do was to conclude that we were not supposed to be together. I know such tiffs happen. I know about trials and tribulations but doesn’t mean you can do whatever you wish whenever you wish.
                This happens so very often, with parents, friends, colleagues, partners. So people next time before you presume something, ask them. Before you assume stupid things in your mind, get them clarified and before you jump to those dumb and irrelevant conclusions, think if what you have concluded is really going to help you and your relationship with them. If it is not going to, time to step back – can’t risk a relationship of a lifetime for your mind games, can you?

My green apple soda

What tires me on post office evenings is not only the work but also the monotony. The same “get up early” mornings, get ready, to-office, same cube, same work.. Yuck (feels like gulping bitter gourd juice) *sigh* Monotony can kill!
Then comes to my rescue – Green apple soda @ CCD. A drink, I can drink any time of the day. It refreshes my senses – not only my taste buds but also my eyes. It is such a pleasure (and one of my favorite past times) to watch the green syrup mix quietly and silently with the water. Each time I stir the straw, the green syrup forms a ring in the water. Stir fast and looks like a whirlpool in the green soda glass. As the syrup mixes with the water and converts into a light green shade with that rich apple taste, I think of life and problems. Just like the syrup, we dissolve in our everyday lives leaving our mark. If we don’t leave a mark, then we defy the purpose of our very being
 As I sip my drink and slowly watch the ice cubes melt, it gives me immense happiness and refreshes me. All calm and in perfect harmony with myself, I look forward to the approaching dusk...

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

My powerpuff gals!!

McDonalds always wooed me. Born and brought up in a small town, all I knew was that it sold burgers with awesomely symmetrical french fries with free toys. So when my elder cousins shifted to Pune, they knew how to tickle my temptation buds!! And so they did.. I wanted to come to Pune for McDonalds and pizza hut and sizzlers..
When I finally started doing my engineering from Pune, Mcdonalds was the ‘by default’ choice. Who else sold yummy, tummy filling snacks at 20 bucks. A toy lover from childhood, I always wanted the “happy meals”. Apt name , it always made me happy. So , my fortnight visits to Mcd’s were reduced to once in two months so I could get the happy meal instead of the value 20 bucks snacks.
Among a host of other toys, I have a pair of powerpuff gals – Bubbles and Buttercup. Couldn’t get Blossoms though *sad* . Anyways so my powerpuff gal toys who are made of sugar,spice and everything nice.. are my cube decorations.

Bubbles in the cute bubbly blue coloured doll who has this pleasant smile and Buttercup is all spicy, giving that stern look telling you to “Mind your own business”. So when I am in a good mood, Bubbles hangs nicely and happily in my cube, smiling at me and all the visitors. She looks cute. But when its Buttercup’s turn to be my cube decoration, peoply beware.. She does the talking for me and if you are the reason for her to be there, then God bless you!!
Perfect mood indicators for me!!

My gold fishes and my parrots and my buffers and guppies ofcourse(how can I forget!!)

“Chocolate limejuice icecream toffeeyaan,
Pehle jaise ab mere shauk kahan,
Gudiya khilone meri saheliyaan,
Ab mujhe lagti hain saari paheliyaan!!”
                Sang Madhuri while getting ready to go visit her sister in Hum aapke hain kaun. She had a cute room with a glass bowl with 2 gold fishes. Each time I saw the song, I wanted to buy a bowl for myself. Looked like the standard “must-have” for any girl ( though I entirely disagree with the song , I’d still preder chocolates, limejuice , icecream, toffee and my dolls) So when I could finally , we bought home a small glass pond with a pair of gold fishes. They were cute.. very beautiful. I loved their fins and eyes and ofcourse their colour!! Next followed a session of giving them names. Felt at peace with myself looking at them, not to mention they allowed me to mentally check one of the items from my check-list
                After the fishes, followed small pebbles, plastic plants,entertainment stuff for my fishes and the pond was full.After their first summers with me, came the rains. One of the fishes suddenly died. I was sad.. By the time I decided to get a partner for my lonely fish, the other one died too *sob*
                Soon I got another pair of fishes as a gift. From the chiclet family, these hockey fishes were too fast. As comparied to the goldies who lazily swimmed in the pond, these fishes travelled with lightening speed. They grew at this speed too. So I had to finally upgrade my fishville to get a tank!!
With the bigger fish tank, came more fishes. Beautiful pineapple tailed fishes and kois and angel fishes. My tank was a medley of colours. But the hockey fishes, the seniors in the tank ragged the juniors killing all of them. Later I exchanged the hockeys with new goldies again. Oh! How much I loved them. They swayed and swimmed gracefully.
My friend’s maid mistakenly broke his fish pond, so my tank had a new visitor – another beautiful gold fish(I called her angel). She was exceptionally graceful and twice the size of my fishes. I loved seeing my tank. Brought matching orange sand to compliment my magnificent fishes. Soon I got a pair of buffer fishes to add colour to my pond. They were black with fluoroscent green spots and looked like micro-mini-whales. “Lazy bones” I called them. You’d be lucky if you saw them move.. And then I got a pair of guppies (Thanks to Government of Maharashtra hoardings which read – Guppies keep malaria away) And they gave birth to more guppies and then some more..
The rains next year saw more of my fishes dying. Angel was left alone once more, not that it affected her. Then one fine day luck favoured me, I had been to a nearby aquarium store and found two yellow parrot fishes. He was selling them real cheap. And so I bought them.Parrot fishes are real beautiful and active. But they tend to define their areas in the aquarium. I came to know this pretty late. After a couple of months they had already started troubling my angel. But she was a fighter too.. Soon my tank was a fighting ground..
My angel died after 2 years and the parrots died recently.. Don’t feel like buying any more fishes.Emotional attachment kills!!


I have always been skirmish to the sense of touch with pets.Born in a home where everybody loved pets , it was very difficult. As history goes, we had dogs and cats and fishes and rabbits and hens and birdies.. Dad loves them and I am afraid of them. I don’t know how it would be to touch a dog ( gives me goose bumps) and the thought of touching fishes , their slimy little bodies sounds night marish to me.. (more goose bumps!!)
                But then she came in my life. Don’t know if I should call her God’s gift or a brat, but none the less she changed my life, she changed me as a person. Still remember seeing 6 labrador puppies playing in a kennel and this cutiepie of mine , lazy as she was (till the time I brought her home) was yawning in a corner, not interested in the rest of them. Her highness dint bother to respond when we chuckled and called baby names to the puppies.When I finally saved money enough to buy a puppy, she was the only one available , rest were all sold. And then I bought her. I dint touch her. My friends wrapped her teeny weeny body in a scarf and we brought her home. And then I was pushed out of the home. Remember the goosebumps!! OMG !!

                I couldn’t step inside the home if she was the only one inside. Was in a huge dilemma whenever I stepped in cause she used to come running to me. And I use to run out of the house :P
But things changed, she loved me.. Followed me everywhere and anywhere I went.. My entry in the kitchen and she showered me with love, purring on my feet like a cat. Baby I know you are hungry always!! Like always..  Each time I got up she followed me. When I slept she rested herself on my feet and slept.. And then I fell in love with  her – Daffy.. my cute baby dog!!
                Bathing her was one long session, wrestling to keep her standing at a place.Her highness loved her green apple shampoo and post her bath and all the water spraying  till I towel – dried her she left peacefully. She loved here toys. Soon I found myself shopping for doggie stuff – toys, bones,dog biscuits, pedigree , eukanoba… even sugar free ice cream (especially vanilla)
                She had this innocence in her eyes, so after eating my flip flops or pulling the clothes down the cloth line, she’d give me that innocent look and I knew something was wrong.. She was a naughty brat, so much so that I feared if it would be a real life “Marley and me”. Taking her to the vet was a tiring affair.The very sight of the clinic and she used to become impatient. Today when I think about her, I miss her a lot. I miss seeing her when I open my room’s door and she doesn’t come running to me. I miss seeing her gladly finish her vanilla ice cream, licking each bit from the cup. I miss her innocense and her silently understanding my silence , tears and happiness. When sad and silent (which I usually am not) she used to come and sit close to me and that was it.. I  dint need any one else..
                Miss you daffy!!

The ride back home…

Come Tuesday and life starts becoming boring already. My status and mood changes to “Waiting for the weekend”  *sigh* So when, we decided to go out for dinner, I felt good.After a nice dinner was the “drop-me-home” time. And it was worth the ride.. “ye hai wagon-r ki sawaari” I wanted to shout out loud..
                With the windows down and the music player singing my favourites – breathless by Shankar Mahadevan, Atif’s all time hits,Boom boom boom para from Aisha and a lot more, I was completely relaxed. The soft breeze blew my hair all over my face forming a mosaic. The road wasn’t crowded. People I love to my company, lovely songs and the romantic atmosphere put me to an ease I cant explain. Dint want the ride to end.. Away from the hustle bustle, away from the dirty cheap politics, the fake smiles, the rude gestures, here I was in a world of my own.. Felt like humming the songs for once after such a long time.. Loved the ride, Thanks !!

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Memories – The vanishing act

This follows the story of the lost stamp..
When mum scolded me and returned the cherry blossom stamp to bhaiya without asking me, I was way too angry. My anger takes away my hunger. So with nothing to do, my devil’s workshop started working. It was summer. We have these huge drums where in we store wheat. So after cleaning , washing and sun drying, the wheat is filled in the drums. One of the drums was empty, I entered into the drum and pulled the cover.
It was lunch time, mum started calling all kids. When she couldn’t find me with the rest of the gang, she looked for me in my room.. but did not find me. With the doors closed , she knew I wouldn’t be inside but where was the question!! I was too angry to either respond to mum or my cousins searching me or even come out from the drum. So finally, mum was afraid. It was time for Dad to come home for lunch. Dad blew the horn of his scooter ( he drove the classy Bajaj Chetak) in a particular pattern for us to know he has come home. That was it, as soon as I heard the horn, I came out.. Everybody was astonished..
Though I had a hard time then , but it was good to have Dad to the rescue and complain about mum :P My vanishing act!!

Memories – The story of the lost stamp

Summer holidays, we really dint have much to do. Dad had this huge stamp and coin collection. So did my elder cousin. So when he started exchanging his repetitive coins and stamps for new ones from his friends, I wanted to follow suit. I took Dad’s collection, arranging the stamps into a photo album and coins into my pouch and went to bhaiya  to flaunt my skills at the barter system. I asked him if he could exchange some of his repetitive coins and stamps with my repetitive ones, so we could have distinct ones in our collection. Bhaiya agreed. There was this particular stamp, square shaped with cherry blossoms which I loved.   Bhaiya also had it.After our barter exchange, I came back happy seeing the new additions. In some time bhaiya also came, he asked me for the cherry blossom stamp. I clarified that it was mine. But he refused.
                We approached mum. As usual,  mum busy with her chores scolded me and handed the stamp to bhaiya. I was baffled, insulted and very angry. She dint even let me prove myself innocent. Why would I take it from him if I already had it.. but mum was too busy.. Later that day bhaiya came and returned one of the stamps, said he found  his back.. I went and returned it to mum.. and left her speechless…

Appraisals – Is it about appreciating work or personal barriers ?

Aren’t appraisals meant to appreciate you for the work you have put in. Aren’t they supposed to be telling you where you stand, what you are capable of doing and where you lack. They why is it that , appraisal times reduce to managers taking out their personal anger on employees?
I had this real tough previous year, where in I toiled hard and I know I did. I cant fool myself, I know how much efforts I had put in but  all it took for my manager was to write “As Expected” everywhere and then give me a bad C band(A being the best). He had cited examples where he thought I had gone wrong, written that I cant create test documents, cant do integration testing (well!! I am not a tester. I am a developer, was I expected to do this??)When you don’t find issues with the code I have written, then you write such futile things to pull be down. What was also compiled in my performance diary was that I take phone calls at my desk, now which rules says we cant and for that instance I don’t remember the last time I took a call on my desk for more than 2 minutes ( Maggi also doesn’t get cooked in 2 mins, so what problem did he have) He has a problem when my friends come to my desk, dude take a chill pill !! When I do my work on time, deliver quality code, I don’t give you any rights what so ever to talk about my personal life. You know why it is called as personal, so that others (and especially you) don’t have a right to mess with it.
                To hell with you and your appraisal, I respected you as a person , for the awesome technical skills you have, which I still do.. But looking at what you think about me (and the others for whom you have written equally bad or even worse appraisals) , I don’t give you any rights to judge me.. So you can continue your bad will and I will continue my work as I want to do it.. my way.. my life.. You can keep the appraisal, I’ll keep my self respect

Its really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than theirs

It was a problem for me adjusting since the day I had shifted in. But as always I wanted to fight this and not give in.So, I kept up with her throwing clothes on my bed, using my things without informing me, wearing my favorite flip-flops when she had hers. What started bugging me was her nagging attitude – waking me up as she wasn’t sleepy, pulling me for a movie as she wanted to see it.. But it was fine as even I was free and dint have much work to do on weekends. What bothered me was the way she lived. Dirty clothes, dirty kitchen each time she cooked or even served cooked food in her plate, spilt milk each time she had tea, mummified vegetables and fruits in the fridge calling out to be thrown, over full garbage bags, soiled socks, dirty bathroom when she had a bath… yuck L
Tried cleaning initially but that gave her more wings, she knew I’d be there to fold her clothes she gladly spread all over our room and the hall, clean the kitchen and bath before I used them. But when it came to my personal life, I rebelled. She had a problem when ever I was on call, wanted to talk to me at the same time. She had a problem if I came home late.. Strange (If you have seen the movie room mate you’d know how it is when your roomie is so fussy and possessive about you)
Last night had this ugly fight with. She told she wanted to shift by next month, I informed the others about it as we’d have to get another roommate or else the rent would increase by bounds. She said I broke her trust. Really?? How big a secret is it to tell your room mates that you need to shift out? And don’t trust me , it really doesn’t matter to me.. That’s what I really want, for you to let me be.Atleast now I’ll have my earrings to myself(she asks me before wearing them but doesn’t ask me when she goes on a vacation of a month and takes them along), my books will be mine to study(has a problem when we study together if I solve more questions than she can).. Finally I’ll heave a relieving breath..
Thanks God… so truly said staying with roommates is hard if your suitcase is better than yours!!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Of anger and tears and poppins

I was in the 1st standard. Still remember the day when Rita Miss(my cute class teacher) was interrupted by the school peon and I was called outside the class. I was aghast.. did I do something wrong? When I finally stepped out, saw my mum.. Dressed in a beautiful pink Punjabi suit , her lips painted mud brown, her  maroon hair flowing gently against her fair skin (My mum looks beautiful, though now age seems to show its lines and wrinkles) She was the definition of the most perfect mum. I was so proud to see her, you know the kinds kid become happy when their beautiful mommy comes and meets them in front of all people and talks this sugary sweet words.
                So there stood mum. When I came out of the class, she rushed to me ,hugged me and filled my skirt pocket with poppins (I loved them and I still do!! Especially the orange flavor) She said sorry
My brother is just 2 years younger to me.With this huge joint family of mine, mum had a hard time cooking, dressing me up for school  and looking after my baby brother. So that morning , she had scolded me.. reason still unknown to me. And I had left for school in my rickshaw in tears. Mum couldn’t digest this and had come to school to meet me. Wow!!
Some memories just move you.. Love you mum!!


Down the memory lane...

Cindy is the cutest of my friends. I don’t speak a word and she understands, I cry and she gives me that understanding look, I am happy and she smiles with me.. Once upon a time we were of the same height, I dressed her up in the best of my clothes. But now times have changed, she is the same she was; but I have grown up.. She still stands beautiful in her green vest, pink jacket , black denims and white ballerinas, her golden hair fluttering with the wind, the butterfly brooch which I had gifted her on her birthday still stays on her jacket, her perfume still reminds me of my days with her..
                My brother and I were always fond of buying toys from “sales”. There were a huge variety to choose from . So once when mum had gone to meet her mum, Dad took us to this sale(Wrong decision!! He must have thought later) and as usual after around an hour of rigorous search, my brother and I selected out toys. I chose a cute Barbie doll(which read “Barbee” :P) and brother chose a gun. Dad tried his level best to convince us not to buy this cheap stuff and as the good daughter and role model for my younger brother I relented. But my brother couldn’t be convinced. So, we bought him this gun which broke that very evening. For being a good girl , Dad promised to get me a better gift.
                We usually celebrated birthdays at 12 night. That night Dad came home real late. I was very angry, why come late on my birthday? So I refused when mum came to wake me up for cutting the cake. The next morning when I was getting ready to go to school, Dad was up already(very unusual for his routine of waking up at 10:00 otherwise) He wished me and gave me my gift. It was a gift box my size, literally. I opened it trying not to tear the wrapping paper.. and there she was Cindy.. the most beautiful doll I’d ever seen.. Dad stood true to his promise..
                The best birthday gift I can ever get..
Thank you Dad.. meant a lot to me.. still means a lot to me J Love you Dad, Love you Cindy!!

Friday, May 11, 2012


 You get then in all variants and sizes, all shades ans hues,all sizes and shapes. Each one of them variably different than the other.. But you love them however they are.. for who ever they are.. without expectations .. This is for all my friends. You make me feel special and I think I do too!! A big thanks to all of you for being there and hope we'd be together for all the years to come. A special thanks to some of my
special friends :-
 My radio friend - We started hanging together beacause of our love of music.. The only thing we talk about usually is the radio channel to hear too. And we absolutely love it. Whenever one of us is not around, the other feels lost selecting channels. We have our opinions of songs we love and songs we don't,
our disagreements if more than one good song is being played on the different channels and our coffee breaks when none of the channels are playing good songs!! What ever be the song, we have a great frequency match when it comes to music.. No doubt our ringtones play "boom boom boom para" (Song -
"Sham" Movie - Aisha) coincidentally !!
 My morning mail friend - We dont reallt talk with each other.. only work related. But for sure every morning I can expect a mail from him with a picture and some message. Initially, I just ignored but now a days I some how look forward to the mails, the pictures , the fonts :)
 My cute messages friend - This is one extreme case.. When this friend of mine messaged me for the first time, I was very angry. I had not shared my cell number so it was a surprise.Not that I still know from where he put his hands on my cell number!! I only get cute messages, good morning ones, good night ones, friends ones.. I cleared myself that I wouldn't be replying back and I don't.Sometimes I feel selfish, but I am really not in sending forwards to people.. But I still keep on getting them.. So if by mistake if I do send you a message of the forwards kind(once in a year possibility),you  know whom to thank :P
 My "Like on facebook" friends - What ever I write, how ever sad or how ever happy as my facebook status, any pic I post , I can expect them to like it. Sometimes, I feel stupid about the posts or the pics or the shares, but I know they are gonna like it :P Don't know if they bother to even see it or just press "LIKE" :P But no matter what, I know that they would and brings a smile to my face automatically :)
 So many more.. Can't enlist :)

Thursday, May 10, 2012


A girl's best friend and a woman's most prized possession (or so they say!!)
        Had an amazing time purchasing a pendant for mum. Wow, the glitterati looks amazing. Makes you feel loved. Checked out designs at Central, Orra and a couple of other stores. Gilli has some very beautiful pendants and earrings to offer. The cost was too high though!! Some of the designs were so delicate that actually had to strain my eyes to look at them properly. But the best part was they were diamonds, and they looked amazingly too good. I loved the feel when I touched them, loved myself when I tried them.
            "Remember the advertisement in which a mother takes her daughter to the store. She tries the bridal collection and is tempted to marry.. so true!! :P"

Finally, bought a cygnus pendant.. Hope mum likes it :)

P.S. Brands like Gili , Cygnus and Gitanjali have nice 20% discounts, so all you beautiful ladies... time to shop!!

When relations change..


   She din't know him. He had just seen her.There was nothing in common, nothing they knew about each other.But life has plans they had unplanned for.Starting with general hi's and hello's to small coffee conversations, things change.Friendship blossoms.And before they know, they become best friends.No unwept tears, coz they always had a shoulder to lean on.No surpressed smiles, coz they knew there would be eyes waiting to see them smile.And then starts the season of coffees and conversations over coffees !! Icecreams,brunches,movies follow. He and she are inseparable.. but till its friendship.Then the relation changes. Why did it have to change? And even though if it had to change for the good, why is it so difficult to share all what was so easy for them earlier. Why are tears shred alone, why are smiles so fake.. why is life so dull? Change is the way of life but why in a completely wrong sense.Why don't the differences between "him" and "her" spring up when they are getting involved emotionally? Why do they have to come when they decide to be together. Her life is hers and his life belongs to him.. They fear telling each other their little secrets, do things they don't want to but just for the sake of... why do relations have to change ? Can't they be just pure and innocent with no sad strings attached!!  Leaves me thinking!!
 Strange but true.. story of almost every "Him" and "Her"

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

May 7, 2012 3:41 am


3:41 am
        Seemingly different but not strange, I have not been able to sleep yet.. Continuous facebook logins have not made a difference as there is no one online. Hollowness is filling inside. One of those days when sleep just doesn’t come however much I try.. In the palace of illusions, Draupadi is caught between her strange untamed love for Karna and her rightful duty as a wife.. Feeling one with her. Such a true and confusing feeling!! They say or so I have read that everything is planned. God has already written down everything. We are just puppets dancing to His tunes. Why is life so confusing, it is actually a palace of illusions, don’t know if the doors and windows I see would actually set me free or are just dead ends or paths leading to wrong endings. Strange , if there is a path already written for me, better I get to know it before I do things strange enough for me to handle..
3:47 am
        Want to sleep, cannot sleep.
The window is open, the birds are chirping, the small lake behind my room is gently flowing. Returning to the “Palace of Illusions” as Shakuni and Yudhisthir play that last but one game which changed the world forever…. Hope sleep comes sooner than the Pandavas losing their dignity..

The Champagne bottle!!

Whoosh and the cork flew..the champagne came popping out. Everybody raised a toast. She stood alone, right between the crowd but all alone. The food, the drinks, the ambience brought back memories of good old times. She was living a life so much not her own.. The soothing breeze, the cold sand put her into deep thought. The wild ocean beckoned her to give up or was it just her thoughts! Lost and confused, memories started playing with her. Her home, the shop, the laughter, those ice creams, 12 o’ clock celebrations and then the tragic end to a happy family. Her tears started taking a toll over her already moist eyes. Leaving everyone behind, she ran to her room. And her champagne bottle of tears opened....

Thro' His Eyes..

As I stood in the crowd I cursed myself. IT makes weekends dearer than anything and everything. And here I was standing amidst the crowd like a fool, trying to find a place to rest my aching body.. but in vain. And then His chariot arrived. As I looked into His eyes, I felt a sudden calm, a sudden peace. As I gazed deeper I could feel Him speak a thousand words. We were so far but I felt one with Him. His magic was all over me putting me into a trance.. I remembered the Sufi dancers. As the procession moved on something in me wanted to stop it and gaze into those beautiful eyes for an eternity. My world seemed to have come to a standstill. Quietly without a word He gave me all the answers. Didn’t feel like blinking. And suddenly the world looked oh so beautiful, I had just seen the world through His eyes.. And then my heart with pleasure filled and danced to the trance..
Ganesh Visarjan 2010

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Happy Mother’s Day

To all those beautiful women out there.. happy mother’s day!!
You are by far God’s most beautiful and astonishing creation. Those nine months of pain and happiness , I salute all the MOTHERS.. Love you all.. Love you mum!!
Motherhood completes a lady..
Make your mother feel special if you are with her and if you are not then give her a call and wish her.. And if you read this post Mother’s day, don’t worry every day is a celebration , so wish your mum today and tell her how much you love her.. And that she is the most beautiful lady in your life !!
And this one is for my Mum,
Mum , I love you.. I miss you. Though at times we have our misunderstandings and fights, but I so much love you. Thanks for tolerating my mood swings and still being with me through out.. I adore your strength..
For being my friend, my guide, my “phone – a - friend” life saver always.. Love you.. Happy Mother’s day!!

Moments to cherish!

 When Veer was really little and wanted to nap he would climb in my lap and hold onto my neck. In a sitting position and holding me tight, h...