Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Just another post

I don't have anything to write today.. there's a lot in my mind but I lack the strength to put it down in words..
This can be a very negative post.. so stop reading if you are in a good mood..

Why does it happen that anything and everything I do turns out to be incorrect..
I don't really know what destiny has in hold for me.. sometimes I don't really know if destiny/God/good-bad etc exist in this world.. If they do, then why do I have to live a life like this.. I know there are people who have worse lives.. and I do understand that.. but to each his own! Why should I be satisfied with a mediocre life when I don't want to.. when I take efforts to rise above.. I have already tasted the fruits of hard work.. but now what ever I do, as minute as it can be turns out to be bad.. Why does my life have to revolve about people's take on me? Why cannot I just be what I am and be accepted like that.. and if I cannot be accepted like this what do I do?
How can I live with the fact that I am hated? What do I do if I am over sensitive to things around me.. What do I do if I cannot control my tears.. and mind you they are not crocodile tears.. You need emotions to cry.. Just because you lack them or are too rock strong doesn't mean I have to be likewise.. Why should I be? Whatever I do or say is either orthodox or invaluable or incorrect or not-matching-the-society or a-blot-on-your-happening-world which you try to make me a part of.. If I am all this and worse, why did you make me a part of your life? Why make me feel like I am a good-for-nothing? Why.. I cannot live like this.. I do not choose this.. You talk about me having irrelevant expectations, and what are you doing? Is it relevant? You know I am not good at winning in words when it comes to talking with you, so you take advantage.. You know that I have no other place to go {Thank our Indian society for that!!}, so you keep on hurting me.. You know I am strong, so you think I am good with anything... I am not! I am sensitive.. It pains when I see a lone kitten or pup on the road.. I cry when I see anybody cry.. It pains when I see an accident.. I feel tragic when anyone dies.. And you knew I was like this.. Can you imagine the pain I go through when you ignore/hurt me? Can you imagine how good our life can be if you leave your ego aside? I will be strong.. anyways I don't have any other option..

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