Thursday, December 20, 2012

Is being a girl my mistake??

You are happy to hear her tiny giggles,
Pinks suddenly seem apt,
She is the apple of your eye,the doll, the princess,
Her birth brings you joy,
You wanna give her every happiness possible for you and sometimes make even the impossible possible,
Dad's princess, Mum's sweetheart, Brother's loving sister, she is there.. like a happy rainbow smiling in your house :)
You want her to study hard, get the best of everything,
You even digest the bitter syrup of sending her away to far away town to study,
She brings colors to your life...
Your daughter !!

She is generous to share the icecream she saved in the freezer,
You know its a couple of cute words and she'd always keep your secret secret,
She'll stand by you no matter what... your friend when you are lonely,
And still there like a star shining in the dark, when you are surrounded by your friends,
You know you'll always have her, no matter what, she'll always be yours..
Your sister !!

She is there to hear your rants, to digest your anger,to share your happiness, to cook your favorite dishes, to give you a fresh towel when you shout from the bath, to remind you all the birthday's and anniversary's which you cannot remember, to share with you all you sorrows, to let you experience the power of creation..
Your lover, your wife !!

She is the hand that rocked your cradle.
Right from keeping you safe in her womb till the time she breathes her last, she'd be there for you, no matter what..
Your mother!!

And so many other roles - she might be your friend, your neighbor, a teacher you adore, a colleague you like or just the gal whom you happen to cross on the road ...

She is not safe today...
This world has become so unsafe...
I am so very sad and disturbed... How could this have possibly happened.. I mean rape a 23 year old girl, for God's sake people.. Where was your conscience ? What exactly was in your mind when you did what you did... No fear of God at all ?? Why... The emotional and physical turbulence...this is heart shattering...
I mean, I travel alone to and fro office, sometimes I do get late, sometimes I do not get a rickshaw and end up walking to the bus stop, I have friends who go later than me, who do once in a while get into private buses/taxis to reach home,most of the times we are alone or with a couple of more friends, but what in Christ's sake would we do if faced by so many people who have nothing but evil minds? 
Staying inside can be dangerous, you never know who is thinking evil about you, going out is dangerous , you never when you can become a victim..... then what should a girl do?



Confused and trapped,
I cannot move myself,
Who are you to apply a T&C apply to my life..
Just because I am a girl?
My life is colorful, or that's at least how I imagine it to be...
And you come and put me into bars..
You tell me to dress from head to toe, but do you not target women who are dressed appropriately(according to you),
You restrict my movement at night, but does your lust not hurt women in broad day light too...
You think just because I am a girl you  have a right to abuse, hurt, treat my body as an object you can do anything with?
Why don't you fear the Lord?
Why doesn't any fear grip you thinking about your mother/daughter/wife or sister ?
Why don't your hands stand up for my security rather than hurting me?
Think before you act man...


My one wish that came true and gave me immense joy...

Wishes!!
And then them coming true :)
Feels like heaven, doesn't it?

So here's my one wish (out of many many) which came true and the joy it gave me then was uncomparable. The joy I get now just thinking it happened is enough to make me smile while I write this.. So here's raising the red curtains :)
I have always been real close to my parents.My sibling and I are left free to voice our opinions, we are encouraged to share anything and everything we want to, we are allowed to cry in front of them when we are weak... It's a beautiful relationship.. It was Dad's 49th birthday. Dad had been forcing me to come home a day before. I was too tired, but then I relented. My sibling couldnt make it amd promised to be home on the birthday. So, when we started our usual celebrations at 12:00 night, digging-into-the-mushy-gooey-cake-and-then-opening-the-gift-and-reading-the-card-ceremony, I took a moment, dashed towards Dad and hugged him. I told Dad I love him. (This was my wish people!!)

Now this may not seem an out of world thing, but I had never before told him that I loved him. I put it down in the cards, had it in my mind but never did I muster my strength to actually tell Dad that I loved him. So, ever since I must have grown up this was my first hug and first "I love you" to the most important man in my life :) :) If you are reading this Dad, you must have already sensed my apprehension and my wait for mum to go to the kitchen so that I could hug you...

But that was one wish I wished for and when it came true it gave me immense joy :)

I lost my Dad 12 days after this birthday and its terrible..

But thinking back, I am so happy I hugged him and told him that I loved him...

So all you people, if you love some one, no matter who they are, tell them you love them, dont just wish and never try to make it true... coz life is short and you don't really know what lies ahead..


This is my post on "My one wish that came true and gave me immense joy...." writing prompt by Preeti Shenoy :) Waiting for Preeti's new book :)

Have a look at the cover ...


All the best Preeti !! Am waiting to read the book :)

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Eternal peace!!


The night is dark,
Its raining heavily,
No shelter,
No light,
No warmth,
No security...
I feel alone,
I feel unsafe,
Cold and dark,
Looking for solace...

“But listen to me. For one moment
quit being sad. Hear blessings
dropping their blossoms
around you.” 
― Rumi

A light shines and the world looks like a better place!!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Lost in trance...

Bold and bright
And everything right,
Sugar and spice
And everything nice...
That is what I am,
That is what I outta be…
No hurt, no pain,
It’s like a dash of rain,
Pouring now,
And stopped again….
You cannot hurt me
You can bring me no pain,
Coz I’ll stand against it
And your try is in vain!!
I do not say I am too strong,
I would not say my tears don’t fall
But all I know is,
I will get up every time I fall!
If I give you a chance to enter my life,
To see me beyond the mask,
To love and be loved…
Don’t take the privilege to hurt me at off-limits..
Yes I have them and I’d stand by them!!
Coz as you know, and if you don’t lemme tell you..
I have the power,
              To make everything right,
                             Bold and bright..
             To make everything nice,
                             Sugar and spice…
And then I let my hair down,
Swooned by the music,
Lost in trance…
Nothing can stop me now :)





Sunday, December 16, 2012

Crying Alone.....

I cry alone..
tears of joy,
tears of pain,
tears of blood
and tears hidden in the rain..
I cry alone..
So, the next time I stand,
I face the world and say
Bring it on,
I am tougher and stronger than before..

Saturday, December 15, 2012

I quit..

An excruciating pain grips my jaw,
I cannot feel my feet, they are numb...
My other wise comfortable and warm blanket has nothing to offer tonight,
As I twist and turn praying for some sleep,
My weary eyes, tired and swollen, cease to close...
Blinking brings in more pain,
My throat is choking and so is my nose,
Have to use my mouth to breathe...
Till when the torture,
Till when the torment,
Till when will I stand this God?
Where are you God,
You promised you'd carry me when I am too weary...
But all I can see are marks of my swollen feet...
Liberate me of the pain and sufferings,
Free me from this world of mortals,
Cause love doesnt nurture love back
but hatred and hurt surely bring hatred and hurt back, so what if they were intentional or unintentional...
I don't understand this world of revenge,
I don't want to understand how tears go unnoticed... or rather termed as crocodile tears...
I so don't want to be a part of this bad bad word....
I let go...
I quit...


And a wild current of wind carries away the last leaf and makes the tree barren......
Aahhh the cruel winters!!

Friday, December 14, 2012

And I always thought, no mistake was big enough if you really loved someone...


I know I am wrong,

I made a mistake bigger than the mountains.. but I really am sorry

My sorry doesn't count anymore,

My tears no more move you..

I am just a botheration...

You don't want to see me around,

You don't want to hear my voice..

I am the worst person ever..

And I always thought, no mistake was big enough if you really loved someone...

As you said, it would hurt for some days, and then everything will be fine,

But how will I live with this burden?

You hate me now,cannot tolerate me..

That hurts and you say I will get hurt for hurt..

But I never meant to hurt you,

I now know I did hurt you a lot...

But I really din't wish too...

I want to make up to you..

But my being around makes you numb already

Tell me, how then will I try to break the ice?

How then will I try to make you smile once again,

How then will I ever ever show you I really am sorry for what I did.

If only,

there was some way for me to prove that I wouldnt repeat my mistake,

there was some thing I could do to make myself bearable to you,

there was some thing I could do to bring back your smile..

If only....

And I always thought, no mistake was big enough if you really loved someone...

Today I know,

I was so wrong to think so..

My first zentangle...

Zentangle..
Beautiful... Lets me draw my mind....
Now I know why I love scribbling :P
Scribbling can be so much fun!!

Her sunshine!!

Colorful – that is what you make my life,

Bliss and happiness surrounds me, when I think of you,

The naughty wind teases me,

Makes my hair sway,

Makes me feel you are nearby,

You are God sent,

You make me complete,

You make me feel beautiful,

You are the sunshine of my life!

                                        Keep shining !!!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The three things I badly wish I could have are..................................

The three things I badly wish I could have are..................................


1. A perfect body to die for….
Who doesn’t wish for this especially when you’ve had it once upon a time and now all you look at is flab flab flab..
I so wish to be like I was 2 years back…

2. More time…
Time to do things I love..
To learn dancing, painting, sketching…
To dance as if I have been set free.. To wear those ballet shoes and swing to soft music..
To write every feeling I feel..
To read every book in my wish list.. To read every unread blog on my reader..
To spend countless days with people I love
To rest, to cook the numerous recipes I note down… and so much more

3. A life partner who'd understand me and whom I'd understand
Loneliness kills.. I want someone whom I can look forward too.
Some one who'll make me feel special and I'd do everything to make him feel special too..
Some one who'll take me in his arms when I want warmth, some one whom I can hug when they are tired or low...
Some one who loves me, some one for me to love :)

---------------------------
This is my post on the "Wish List Wednesday" on Preeti Shenoy's blog..

I so love your books Preeti...
Waiting to read this one :) Good Luck!!!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Yeeee

Yeeee
My blog is already more than 100 posts old and I came to know about this so late....
Awww... I missed my blog's 100th post day....
But none the less... more than 100 posts.... yeeeee am so so happy :)
Thanks NS, you were the driving force....
Thankyou so much :)
Love you the blog - the biggest vent to all my feelings..

One last dance

He held her close, she held on to him. Resting her head peacefully on his heart, letting her heart beat sink with his… she knew they’d have to let go.. Let go of the beautiful relationship , of the long nights of longing, of the sweet nothings, of the fights over not getting time to be together … yes it was time to bid their final good byes…


Her tears would not stop… It was time to say good-bye

And before she knew, he took her by her waist and made her body swing to his tunes.. A step here and a step there and they were dancing, dancing as if there was no tomorrow…

Then he got down on his knees and proposed to the princess of his life... She could not believe it was finally coming… She said the long awaited “YES”… And then together they bid good bye to their lives as ”HE” and “SHE”… coz it was time to be “WE”…

P.S. -- The painting is still incomplete... Will do some detailing and re post... Couldn't wait..even though it was incomplete

Happy Birthday Dad

Rewind…


2012 >>2011>>2010>>2009>>2008

Dad’s birthday :)

It all started with Dad telling me to come home on the 27th. Soon, normal talk turned to requests and then to bribes (yes!! We did that, bribe each other to get things done :P) and then to threats… And I had to relent. Picked up a gift for Dad, called Mum to get his favorite Black forest cake and keep it secret!! As usual, Dad started calling me for my whereabouts when I was around 10 kms away from my house and he was right there to pick me up at the bus stop. It was fun to be with Mum and Dad, called Lil’ K , teased him that he was missing all the fun and then threatened him to come home as early as possible, after all it was Dad’s 49th Birthday…


Around midnight, Dad entered my room and asked me for his Bday cake :P I mean it was supposed to be a secret, but how can it be a secret if we repeated it every year, every birthday… We got up, relished the cake, the gulab jamuns, the rasgullas.. yes we have a sweet tooth, the entire family… Called up Lil’ K again, such a bitch I can be at times!! For a change, gave Dad and Mum this big bear hug… they were taken with surprise, we dint usually show up our emotions so loud. Then finally I entered their bedroom and dint know when I slept, right there between them… :P

Next morning saw Dad getting impatient. He dint know why the rest of the family hadn’t wished him yet. I assured him they would , but he was impatient, the first of the times I saw him being impatient for something so petty. So, we ended up dropping messages to one and all in the phone book reminding them of his birthday.. And then came the cooking spree… we cooked and cooked.. cooked till we dropped.. It was a nice family thing and when everybody left, we happily opened the gifts… and called it a night…

Cannot write in words, the enthusiasm, the love, the fun…. One of a kind

Fast Fwd

2008 >>>>>>>>>> 2012

Blank…..

Chitthi na koi sandes,

Jaane vo kaunsa des,

jahan tum chale gaye.

Is dil pe laga ke thes,

Jaane vo kauns des,

Jahan tum chale gaye…

Happy B'day Dad!!

Miss u ….

BTW I got a promotion on your Bday…

How fortunate is that!! If only you were here to share my happiness!!


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Who do you think you are??

Who do you think you are,

yes you, who thinks I am a good-for-nothing,
and you, who thinks that I should get married now, even though I don't wish too,
and you, who talks to me only when you need help,
and you, who thinks just because I am nice and I am talking to you, I am not a "good gal", not that I care how you define a "good gal",
and you, who thinks just because I have been living in a city,away from my parents, I would have slept with almost all the guys I know,
and of course you, who thinks I don't know what kind of clothes I should wear, just because you cannot carry yourself properly, you think you can say that to me?
and you, who thinks I shouldn't talk to guys
and you, who gleefully crushes my love under your feet like it were a cigarette butt
and you, who thinks I am option, you can reach me when you don't have any one else
and you, who has a problem with my attitude, it is my own, why do you have to bother..
Yes, all of you.. who sometimes overpower my feelings and thoughts and make me go weak...
Remember that I may be weak sometimes, but I haven't quit and I will never!!


The song in my mind and on my iPod -

"Tum mera haath chhod ke agar jana chaho to, jaa sakte ho
Saath rah ke agar mujh pe taras khana chaho to ,jaa sakte ho
Ye na socho ke tum bin mera kya hoga
Sach to ye hai ke jo hoga achha hoga
Mai hun kamjor tum ye mujhko samjhana chaho , to jaa sakte ho."



Stronger than ever!!

I stand each time I fall,
and each time I stand I am stronger than before..
I loved you,
You didn't trust me,
You dint want me,
I cried.. not that it affected you..
I let you go.. coz you wanted..
I grew stronger
I love you, you love me,
I try making things better,
And here I am, taken for granted..





                                                                    Hurt now,
                                                                  In bitter pain,
                                                                 Lean and weak,
                                                                    I fall down...
                                              But don't think I have lost it...

                                                              This time I get up,
                                                           I'll be stronger than ever..

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Lightening speed..

I saw you,
I wanted to draw you...
I have always been awed by you,
The majestic appearance,
The free spirit,
The lightening speed,
The humble eyes...
Though I couldn't capture all of it,
My maiden attempt :)




Wait...



Restless, eyes full of tears,
She waits...
Her mascara is washed off,
Her kohl smudged.
Oh the wait!!
He comes, "Happy Birthday Sweets!!,
I am sorry I am late"
is all he has to offer.............
He doesn't note her eyes
nor her lost smile
nor the beautiful dress, she thought he'd adore..
The party ends, he drops her back.
"Happy Birthday self", she shouts out loud..
Tears roll down and this time they don't stop.
Restless, eyes full of tears,
She waits.. 
                                for the wait to end..


Friday, November 23, 2012

I am so happy

Yeyeye... I feel like dancing and singing out loud, painting the town red.. or may be blue ;)


And I have so many reasons to do so...

One, I had an awesome start of the day, with the perfect time to read my daily news and my daily dose of music,"angrezi beat,radha..." and the likes gave me an awesome start.

Two,it wasn't really cold today morning and I had an awesome time enjoying the cold breeze while coming to office.. And then perfect Latte made me happier.. though I had to throw away the second cup, don't know why I thought I can drink two or maybe I got it for some one else (*eyes rolling*)

Three, I spoke to PS today and SP day before and SN the day before that day :) :) And it brought back memories, memories of those two years we spent together... SP,PS,SN,SK and me studied together for our 11th and 12th standards, and it was the perfect "GALS ONLY" time we had. Sorrows, happiness, food , studies , gossips... we had an awesome time in college but then our paths separated. The usual talk-everyday schedule was replaced by facebook messages and then even the messages ended. So today, we spoke after like 7 years.. SP,PS and SN got married... OMG !! I missed one of the most important days of their lives :( But none the less, it was fun talking to all of them.. We are planning to meet.. yeeyeeyee

I am so happy I am gonna see them after so so long :)

And like I always talk about God's plan B to make me sad each time I am happy, I had a bad bad fight with one of my loved one today.. SS, I am sorry, I dint mean to be rude... but you know I get irritated so fast.. I am so so sorry :( Hope I can make up to what I did to u.. but then I hope you understand why I was angry... Hope you'd smile soon and be your normal self !!

But for now, I am going to paint the town blueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Happy holidaying people :)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

My take on things..



A lot has been happening around us over the last two weeks. Loosing one of the most powerful politicians, the paranoia of Shiv Sainiks over dragging two "FREE" citizens over them expressing their opinions on their personal profiles and the hanging of Kasab. Every incident in itself made me ponder and debate about what I think about all of it, how would it affect me voicing my opinion, what other people think about what happened and how will these things affect us in the broader picture called "Life".

I already expressed how the closing down of Pune hampered my life for a couple of days. I am overwhelmed with grief for the loss of a loved one a family faces, but the same fear gripped me that day, the fear of loss!! A life is a life and is more precious than anything else. So when over a couple of hours, Pune and Mumbai were closed, the lives of a millions were affected. I don't think a people's leader would bear his own people being troubled and tortured like this for something as basic as food, medicines and commutation. I personally don't know much about him nor his way of ruling, all I know is what was portrayed by Amitabh Bachchan in Sarkar , though now I know he played a real big part in our politics, given the national cremation offered,draped in the Indian Tricolor. Again a novice that I am, I thought the honour was for people who sacrificed their lives for the country. Yet again, I may be wrong as I don't know about it.

And more soever I am afraid, given what happened to girls who expressed their opinions on a social networking site, I don't know what fate would show me.I mean, we know Bal Thackeray for his ferociousness, for his voicing of his opinions, for his cartoons speaking out loud, and isn't that what Shaheen did. She wrote what she felt.Then why break up her uncle's clinic? Why when its not allowed by law were two girls taken to the police stations in hours when they weren't supposed to, why were their families locked up in their houses, so they couldn't reach their girls in need? Why? I have no idea what emotional trauma they must have been going through!! All I know is it's bad,embarrassing and unexpected. And no, I don't have any grudges against the policemen who arrested them. Who doesn't know that Shiv Sainiks know how to get things their way.. If not the police, they would have had their options B and C ready... So when the police was worried about maintaining decorum, closing down the normal life,handling lakhs who wanted to give homage to their beloved leader, here two girls were dragged into negative light.. and became history. Aren't there any more important issues to be handled?

I know the loss of a loved one. A life is a life and how ever it ends , the loss is irreplaceable. I don't know how life will change after giving Kasab a painful death.It cannot for sure bring back the loved ones we lost, it cannot guarantee that hence forth such things won't re-occur, what does it guarantee then? What does it change then? For me, just two things are clear,one, that things can happen secretly and two, at the end of day what I read in my history text books long back is true, our President does have a say! I entirely stand with the ones who lost their loved ones, but what did we do now by hanging Kasab, killed a son? Isn't this a loss too for his family in their own ways. Yes he was wrong, entirely wrong in what he did... but we all know how he was turned into a deadly terrorist from the cute teenager he must have been once upon a time. He did not have parents as supporting as we had, he didn't have environment for his mind to grow positively, he didn't have someone to take him back home and tell him what he was doing was wrong. And for that instance, when Kasab was hanged a hundred more of his kind would have vouched and resolved against us to take revenge!!

Perplexed about the incidences and their occurrences!! What's your say?

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Every girl's dream....

A very cold morning..
Even the sun denies coming out of its warm cover...
She gets up from the warm embrace of her blanket, laces her jogging shoes and there she goes chasing the night away....
Coz in her heart is the dream.... to let her hair down and dance to the DJ's music in her LBD!!!

Today morning view when I went walking!!
Beautiful ain't it??
I was all alone on the beautiful path..
Finally on the way back, opened my arms , took in the cool breeze and ran down the slope like a crashing helicopter, just that I dint crash (*winks*)... (yes, I actually did that :P, but it was fun!!)

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Camera

And they ask me why isn't my Dad visible in any of the many family pics I upload...
My dear people.... I wish they had special camera's for heavenly people...
And then I smile and reply, "Some one needs to click, he's right there behind the camera..."

ME

I dint talk to you, not to anyone in general until and unless I was sure we were friends - and people called it attitude. I had made this small comfort zone around me and preferred staying in it, my books , my dolls, my things - and people called me an introvert. I was tagged. I was some one who couldn't make friends, who couldn't trust people, who couldn't open up and talk, who wasn't a nice company to people who dint know me, who wasn't fun, who was always in a world of her own. Everybody mocked at me, comparing me to people, telling me to do this and do that, be like her and learn from him , but nobody rejoiced in what I was. I was forced to leave my comfortable cocoon I had spun around myself and open up, talk, live as you'd term it. But little did you know what I termed "LIFE" as.... and I did... for you and you and you... all of you whom I love.. I changed


Now I talk to all of you, be with you like you, behave the way you'd love to... somethings I like doing some I have started liking for you... but then you don't leave me there either. I talk and you say I talk a lot. I make friends and you say I cannot draw lines. I adjust and be comfortable in what so ever I have and you say I don't have self esteem. I try being what you want and you say I lack individuality...

But what you don't know is.. the real me.. do you? Don't bind me in shackles under the name of love,friendship,relationships.... they don't work for me anymore... For what importance is a relationship which bring tears to my eyes and makes me feel inferior. What happiness can such a relation bring which needs every word to be thought off before spoken and what promises would a future hold where I wouldn't be ME.. Don't catch me this tight, I'll fly away... Let me be me... whether in a cocoon or like a butterfly, its my life..

You hold me in between the two arms of a scissors, it hurts this way and that way too... don't do this.. you don't know what you'd loose.... And yes I am proud to say this, you wouldn't get someone like me.. Try your luck... All the best!!

Pune Central woes..

Remember my post on the diamond earrings I gifted to mum this Diwali. Unfortunately, inexperience showed up. I bought rings and they were small for mum. I had to get them replaced , which I did, but very unsatisfactorily. It was supposed to be a 100% exchange for a month's time. But they just did not having any other piece of jewellery with a cost near my earrings. So, either I had to pay around 7-8k extra , which I dint afford to do, or end up bearing a loss of the difference in the cost. I mean, how is that a policy, if they don't have any items in the same price range, why should I bear the loss ? After a lot of discussion, they agreed to give me a kiddy watch which costed the difference amount. Now , there is not kid in my house and even if there was one, I cannot imagine gifting an ugly, plastic pale blue watch to them even it is selling under a "BRAND NAME". So I ended up exchanging the earrings and bearing the loss... Awful !!


And this is not enough, next day when I went shopping with mum and K, we were waiting for the billing. K's sweatshirt did not have a barcode. Now, in usual times, they called the sales person from that particular brand and asked them the price, but this particular day, the cash counter guy told me very rudely that I'd have to bill it on the floor I bought it..There was no rush, we were the only ones standing at the counter and I dont have an answer for this rude behavior. When I asked him about it,he said he dint know the number and then dint know the name of the sales person, oh, come one.. atleast come up with an acceptable excuse!! A large size carry bag was enough for the clothes, but again he said he dint have medium and large sizes. Now a large sized thing costs 7 rs and a small sized 3 rs , which meant atleast buying 4 carry bags, which I dint obviously!! And now comes the catch, when I checked the bill, I was billed a whooping 2500/- extra for some levis jeans which I dint buy... and then they kept me waiting for another 30 mins to reimburse the amount.... Bad times!!! I am not going back to Pune Central again :(

How The Thackrey loss in my loss in the true sense!!

I wouldn't really comment about Mr BalSaheb Thackeray (one because I am not much into his works, so doesn't make sense to comment and two because I read what fate Shaheen and Rini had to face for posting a comment in a country which allows Freedom of Speech) . But what I'd really like to say is how it was my loss.


So, mum, K and me went cloth-shopping to Central. Had a quick KFC snack and headed to shopping, this was Saturday morning. Central wasn't an amazing experience. This was my second bad experience with Pune Central, Erandwane. By the time we reached home, we were totally exhausted. The cooking gas had ended the previous night and we were totally dependent on the restaurants for our food. And the next thing I know, Pune is closed. No, I completely agree, that a big respected leader passed away and there were chances of violence, but what I dint understand was why! Whom were people going to fight? GOD?

To sum it all up, we were left with no food and no cooking gas. And my mum is an anaemic. We had a tough time, with no shops open, no restaurants working, no autos to commute and for that instance no medicals open... Not the same everywhere in Pune actually, but in my area, this was the scene. Saturday and Sunday looked like a huge effort. Monday morning saw mum draped in sweat with an aching body, her bp was low, like very very low. And then again, I live on the moon, so I dint get an auto to commute to the hospital. The only auto which was present did not agree to travel just a km to the hospital, though I was ready to pay his ten times the price (*eyes rolling*) Finally, we did get a rick and reached the hospital!!

But tell me is it worth the pain ? Just because a great person passed away, can we risk the other loved ones in our lives. I cannot tell you how afraid I was when I saw mum in that situation and couldn't get an auto or a cab. God bless the Thackeray family and give them strength, God bless the police for maintaining decorum, but then again tell me is it worth to risk other lives?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Surprise surprise!!

Yeeeeeeee… am so happy… could not contain my happiness, better to write it down here so that I do not giggle to myself every now and then. Before people start thinking I am struck by the laugh-to-yourself-bug, here is the BIG secret…


Finally, I got mum diamond earrings from Nirvana :) Yeee!! They are tiny, but they are beautiful! I absolutely love them, am dying to see her smile once she gets them.. I wanted to buy studs but ended up buying these.. they are so mesmerizing, will post a pic once I gift them to her…

And that’s not all – Got her a new cell phone – HTC Explorer :) So , we are now an HTC Family… Though she’ll have to learn how to use it but I guess that’s fine :) Ye ye ye ye…. Shit, I am giggling again to myself as I write this :P But I am so happy :)

And yes bought a sexy sweatshirt for K, peeped into the room to see him hugging his sweatshirt… Cannot tell you how happy that makes me.. Gives me all the more reasons to smile..

Thanks SS for shopping along with me, hope you liked your gift too.. And yes, the dinner was awesome :) Loved the conversations we had after such a long long time....

And before you think I forgot myself (I am a selfish gal, you see), I ordered Shantaram – By Gregory Robert Davis after a strong recommendation by KB… (Here you go KB, now you surface on my blog :P) and it came with an awesome 38% discount!!

Waiting to see Mum happy … and hopefully Dad too!!

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Mind wanderings..

An old playlist playing my favorite songs,
my comfy bean bag,
warm maggi in my classy blue bowl,
frothy hot coffee - lil sugar and lotta coffee, just the way I like it,
an engrossing novel ..
Under the stars, the moon shining brightly..
Need i ask more...
This is perfect
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Is it ??
What if there was someone with me..
Sharing my coffee and maggi,
Humming the same songs I am humming,
Holding me warm and tight in the cold breeze,
Filling the empty place....
Shy smiles and giggles under the moon,
Winks and pecks , stars shining in our eyes..
Won't this be perfect...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
But what if he doesn't want to do this?
What if this is not his definition of perfect?
What if he doesnt enjoy what I do ?
What if this makes him unhappy..
What if he is too sleepy to see me smile and giggle?
What if he is busy?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
My warm blanket comforts me,
The coffee makes me warmer....
The songs calming my mind...
This feels good !!

.................


"Why do you cry my love", he asks her.
"Coz I miss you.." and a tear rolls down her eyes.
"But I am always with you..., close your eyes and feel me...".....

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Sketches...

                                                           My pencil sketches :)


That's how problems grow.. if we run away.. intermingled and difficult to decipher...  Difficult to find the correct way out then...

Emotionless face but a turbulent mind... 

Shapes...

Random...


The window to the other world..
 

Keys to freedom...
Lighting the lamp of hope.. the dark days would pass...

Ball pen sketches

Always intrigued by Ganesha.. His eyes.. mesmerize me...
Auspicious moments !!

Drawings with glitter pen 

Was supposed to look like a dagger :P

Water jug..

Ganpati Bappa Morya

Wedding gowns !!

I have always fancied Christian weddings !! I love the gowns..
Here are some I sketched :)

My personal favorite :)


Flaunt those perfect shoulders!!
Love this one too :)



Angry...

         It's a wonderful Saturday afternoon... I am lazing around reading my last book of the Fifty Shades  Triology in my favorite pink-white dress. My hair smells awesome of the leave on conditioner I just dabbed. I am in that oh-so-happy mood.. But yet again Mr God and his plan B... arghhhh
        Knock at the door, the society secretary wants to see me. As I climb down to the office, eight gentleman are sitting - Round table conference ehh guys!! They ask me about my details and then rudely tell me I need to empty my rented appartment - STRICTLY BACHELORS NOT ALLOWED... And then the gentlemen are not-so-gentle-anymore... They start shouting in alien language, talking to each other and making me look like a fool. They tell me they'd draft me a notice and also notify the police and here after I can talk to the police directly... Excuse me... And the male chauvinists they are they don't let me talk... As I clear my throat and request them to talk to the owner of the flat, they deny. And then from nowhere, one of the rude-grey haired-uncle-who-looks-like-a-villian shouts at me "YOU DID WRONG. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE STAYING HERE.ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, THAT'S IT WE ARE DONE" I was tongue tied. I started moving out , only to turn back and tell him he was rude and dint know how to talk to a girl. This required a lot of effort, a part of me just wanted to cry for being shouted at and the other part wanted to shout back, and that's what I did, though calmly... Calling a girl in an office with 8 people (though they all belong to good families and we are right in between the society in the office) is incorrect. 8 pm is incorrect. And shouting is incorrect tooo. Not acceptable... absolutely not..
    By the time I came back, I was all shaken and shivering. Damn it.. when am I going to change.. And then the tears - they flow.. And I absolutely don't know why.. Why did I cry? Am I weak.. beyond doubt .. yes I am... Am so angry with them but more angry with myself.. When I did reply back to him then and there, why did I have to cry when I came back...

Quilling and painting....

Meanwhile.. I have been learning to quill paper :)
And its fun :)

These were supposed to look like orange slices chopped in semi circles... Unfortunately , they don't!!

Duh!! I tried...


Flowers!!


This was supposed to resemble a peacock feather..Duh again :P

 

And this is a painting... It was at SM's ( friend @ office) desk. As soon as I saw it, I knew I wanted to paint it.

Paranthey wali galli @ Delhi

Happy Saturdaying people!!!

x

The obvious and the understood...

      Spare me if the title doesn't justify what I am going to rant about, and yes this is a rant so gleefully skip if you are happy.

        Last night while I was chatting with NC (my cousin sister, who is studying gynaecology in some remote college) We both have a very happy life, we are both happy with our professions (*not exactly happy, I guess the correct word would be successful, working and earning enough for a living*), we are average looking and our parents are proud of us (ye ye ye) . We are not burdened with the usual get-married-soon-rant from our parents, though they do once in a time talk to us about it, but not been forced like the other friends. NC said the obvious yesterday, she said she was alone, she felt very lonely - the obvious, but something we din't want to understand. Busy with our careers and always thinking we were complete
in our own lives, we never thought we'd need a partner. I guess she is stronger when it comes to this. I am not, I gave up long back.. but then a break up followed and things are really not that great in my life too... She is alone and lonely and I am lonely in a crowd and it hurts.. It hurts to be alone and it hurts when you know you have someone but you are still lonely.. But this was what we wanted right - a stable career, acceptable looks, a degree, a group of people we can call friends, a good happy family, siblings and cousins who understand us and stand by us - but we dint know we'd face this some day. I feel lonely too I told her, she said she is happy she works weekends and I told her how I dread weekends. Though I am happy drawing, painting,singing, dancing all by myself, but then again what more do I want ? Why do I want some one to talk to? Why ? Why can't I be alone and happy? NC said she wants to get married, it was like yesterday when we laughed at mum and aunty for talking "MARRIAGE" to us. I don't know what to say, this was the obvious just that we dint want to accept...
      And then again thinking about a new relationship, I feel so tensed. I am such a big loser, couldnt keep the one I had, then how do I assure myself that I am ready to take the leap and say an "I DO" to someone.. Why is life so complicated? What is wrong with me? When the feeling to belong to someone and to have someone all  for me makes my inner lady smile, why does she in a split of a second give me that devillious grin and provokes me to think if I can really do this... OMG.... I wanna be happy like the other gals out there, happily engaged and then happily married... but doesn't look that easy to me... And believe its the inner turmoil, I don't trust myself anymore.. I am scared..
       Hope NC gets someone real soon.. One lucky guy he is going to be :)
Am so uncertain about myself though !!


Friday, October 26, 2012

INDULGENCE !!

           It's a wonderful Friday morning!! Birds are chirping outside, the sun rays enter my room and warm me up. I got up in the usual I-dont-want-to-go-to-office-rant. I let my ipod sing beautiful tunes. My aching body asks for relaxation and some pampering. So here's what I did all you beautiful gals and I want you all to try this -


             I warmed up the bathing water and then indulged myself in an awesome bath. So, get some aromatic candles. I am gonna get some .Remember to light them up some time before you enter the bath and put them off before your bath, you dont wanna end up suffocating. But for today I dint have them, so they are optional. I was late already but then it was "indulgence time" , so big deal!! will reach office 30 mins late, now that wouldn't stop the earth from revolving , will it ? As I massaged my body lightly with my aromatic litchi-purple shower gel, I felt good. Wow!! Try it people, its fun and relaxing and good. Then , I dabbed some litchi-purple lotion on my body. Feels like heaven already. Energized sensed!! I am loving it :) I sprayed my favorite perfume... INDULGENCE :) SHEER INDULGENCE :) I am feeling so so happy, my perfume, my skin soft from the warm aromatic bath, my lovely pink kurti...

            Go ahead gals, indulge,do something good to feel good... It may be a bath, a talk with a friend, a small hug when your partner wouldn't really be expecting it, a small something for yourself, a plate of chaat, a slice of cheese cake or wear that favourite dress of yours, take out those lovely heels (thats what I do, I unwrap my golden heels , wear them and roam at home and then keep them up again... wow :) how happy it makes me) , gift yourself a flower, paint, sketch, sing out loud... Indulge.... Make yourself happy :)                   HAPPY WEEKENDING !!!

Things I love...

          So, finally I bought myself two canvas to paint on. And I did. They dint turn out to be very good, but not too bad either... I loved moving my brush on the canvas slowly mixing the different hues and shades... And I tried painting a face... much to my horror... but I am so happy I tried :) Here they are -






And I tried paper quilling -

And water colored a ballet dancer -

And I wrote the letter "D" -

Mistress of MISHAPS!!

Bewildered... This world is such an unsafe place. Ain't it?


I am crossing the road waiting for the signal to go red. The pedestrian sign goes green, I start walking on the zebra crossing. When I just a couple of feet away from the foot path, out of nowhere, a guy speeds on his Pulsar 220, headphones in his ears. I whisper a small prayer, what is he doing God, speeding up when the signal is red. And before I realize what has happened, I am knocked down on the road. After hitting me, the guy crashed on the road too. His bike and him at ninty degrees.My back is warm from the friction and my body is shivering. Tears start rolling down my cheeks.


Now coming to me being the "Mistress of MISHAPS". Two days prior to the accident I slipped in front of my bathroom. There was water on the floor. I had a bucket of warm water (*hands folded in prayer*) Thank God, it was just luke warm, as the lights had gone, had it been a normal the water would have been super hot, and I would have had burns along with the crash. So, I ended up spraining my right ankle, hitting my head on the wash basin and a painful back. Wet and aching, I sat there for another hour and then retired to bed.

arghhh... I am so angry. I had a viral, then a throat infection and a UTI and then a reverse viral and now I have an injured back (doesn't let me sleep on my back, have to sit perfectly straight with my back screaming out 'touch me not'), twisted ankle and body ache... :(

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Its here [O]... yeeeeeeeeee

My Gtalk status msg :- Finally... its here [O]

K's Gtalk status msg :- Indeed finally its here [O] !!!

Our little secret.

Thanks Dad and Mum :)

We are so happy, we cannot tell you :)

We are so happy,we cannot wait to get our hands on you [O]...

Friday, October 12, 2012

What am I upto..

So I have been reading and reading and reading and doing nothing else. The fever and the weakness doesn’t let me do anything else. Poor K has to sweep the floor, get food for us (he tried cooking for a day or two and then he knew it wasn’t his cup of coffee),wash the utensils and then again pay attention to me (I know how reluctant I am when it comes to eating medicines) So I read a lot of blogs and felt totally insane.. I should stop writing, I guess. After reading other people write, I feel like all I write is crap. But none the less, here I am today coz what else am I supposed to do after working 8 hours, facebook being blocked in office and have to wait for K to pick me up.. Well yes I can read.. but then when am I supposed to rant :P


So yes, I read the all so famous “Fifty shades of grey”, followed by “Fifty shades darker” and am gonna start the “Fifty shades freed” soon… No mischievous smiles please, but I really couldn’t swallow the book- its actually grey and dark, though I like the budding relationship between Ana and Christian and I absolutely love the way the story goes, but all the sex stuff… Its too kinky , I mean I couldn’t take it.. But now that they are happily married, I am happy too.. Hope it has a happy ending  And yes, Christian Grey- his description is heart –winning. Almost Greek God like  Though nothing else from the rest of the book and I mean absolutely nothing else, I’d love to have Ana’s wardrobe and ride the “Tango Charlie” (Grey’s personal chopper) and go sailing on “Grace” (Grey’s personal yatch) and have my man propose me the way Grey did in a room filled with flowers and an Opal ring *wink*wink*

“The Slayer of Kamsa” is an excellent write. We all know about Kamsa as Krishna’s cruel uncle, but how he rose to power is something I was unaware about… And this is absolutely lovely book to read about that. Thought the starting pages made me put it down real soon, but once I digged in further, it was awesome. I loved it. Am waiting to read the second part..

“Eat, Pray , Love” was good to read, though I strained my eyes due to the tiny font, but anyways it was worth it. The description of Italy has left me yearning to go there. Given the food lover I am, I cannot resist the pizza, gelato and the other yummy food items mentioned it the book. For someone who meditates to come out of the usual life problems, one can actually relate to the Indian life of prayer depicted. I’d really like to know where exactly is the Ashram mentioned. And falling in love, how beautifully put down on paper by the author… Waiting to watch the movie now(yes, I have been DUMB enough not to see it yet)

“Cocktail” is a collection of usual life, love stories. On longing, loving, lusting, they are the kinds you can actually relate to real life. Simple English, nice big font, ease of reading 

“Coma” by Robert Cook is a novel about the mysterious coma cases and the organ trade there off and how a budding intern tries solving it. Being a girl, the way she wants to make her mark in a male dominated profession and the things going on in her mind are beautifully put down. Though after some time , it seemed like a normal Hindi film plot, but none the less a nice read 

Preeti Shenoy’s “Tea for two and a piece of cake” is a must read, not only for the story(which seems so real that I almost thought I was there..) but also for the way it has been written. How a Greek God and a rich one mind you falls in love with a plain Jane and then get married and how the monotonous life and difference in opinions later make her break the cage and fly, face challenges and yet boldly face every storm. Hands off to the hands that rock the cradle, surely they rule the world!!

That's all from me now guys.. Have a great time :) Happy weekending!!

Bed bugs.... eeeeeeksss

It all started with the earthworms followed by the pigeons and now it is the “Bed-Bugs” (*eyes rolling*) I mean... Who would want their birthday week to be celebrated with bed bugs!


So, the other night when Mum, K and I were trying to catch some sleep, we felt tiny pricks. Not that this was the first time. I had been telling K over a long period of time that I felt something was biting me through the night, but given the lazy bums we are, we dint bother, until that fateful day. So , it was beg bugs everywhere, climbing down the walls, dancing upside down on the ceiling and having a relaxed time on the floor. Before we opened our eyes to realize the risk we were in they were already in millions attacking us from all the sides. So, we spent a sleepless night followed by an early morning session of pest control, which only added to our woes as we had to stay out for around 4 hours. That dint help much either coz irrespective of the “HERBAL, NO SMELL” pest control treatment, it left us coughing and our noses running. It was horrible… And then followed the regime to clean the complete house once again, dry the blankets and clothes and what and what not which were sprayed by the pesticide…

Ewww…. Hell of a time…

Monday, September 24, 2012

Calling quits

I don't know what goes in your mind when you call it quits with me,
Maybe its my untamed behavior
or maybe its my lost smile..
Maybe we are presuming things
or maybe we are jumping to conclusions.
But maybe you have forgotten that --
          There's this little girl inside me
           who still prefers toys to make-up,
           chocolates to coffee,
           cuddles to adult talk,
           happiness to work place silence.
I lost her somewhere
Only to realize that that was the true me...
Only for you , not for the world though
   And she just doesn't wanna grow up.
And no,I am not talking marriage when I say all this.. coz marrying you is a dream I see almost every night..
I am confused and troubled, have any empty mind and hence a devil's workshop..
I respect your decision and will always do...
But just for once want you to think,
Is it really worth?
Coz I really don't know
What goes in you mind when you call it quits with me!!

Found this on my closet last night, don't really remember when I wrote it though!!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

What have I been doing….

              Except the fact that I have been falling sick every now and then, there have been new advacements…. Finally , this time K and I bought Ganeshji home… yeeeeee


We made the temple (ok, I wouldn’t call that a temple, but I don’t know what word to use for Ganeshji’s seat) 
and I made the modak… for the first time again. I am feeling good J

Our bean bags have finally arrived and its fun, bean bag, coffee, novel … wow!!


My rose plant, which otherwise looked like it was dying even after the immense care, has finally blossomed and here’s the cute flower.
Happy weekending people!!

The highway


As a kid she was always confused when she saw her fellow kids go out with their parents and return as happy sould. First her parents never took her out and second if they did, she’d always come back crying. She dint know why but her parents found a reason to fight everytime they went out. She began avoiding going with them, but she dint really have those choices to make. Initially, she cried more when she noticed her tears went unnoticed, but later she found solace in the cold breeze, which coldly dried up her tears. She started loing the trucks on the highway, each time their bike slid besides a truck, the truck would shield her from the cold breeze. She felt warm. The highway, the lights , the trucks made her calm. Then again she had her toys with whom she’d  discuss why her parents fought.
Then she grew up. She found the love of her life, now that she had lost all hopes in an arranged marriage, she knew he was perfect for him. He cared for her, loved her and their relationship wasn’t even a bit like the one her parent’s shared. But a storm follows every silent silence. She was happy to be with him that day, they were together travelling over the highway.As she held him close, his breath mingling with hers,she felt great. But the volcano was ready to erupt. He fought with her, on small things , really small ones. Once again she travelled back to her childhood – the same highway, the same trucks, but this time it was her. Quiet and tears rolling down her eyes, she swallowed his words, she couldn’t answer him back, she was way too pre-occupied in her mind. 

On longing...


Melisa lay on the hospital bed. All near and dear ones near her except him. She knew he was busy. He had office, after all it was a normal working day. So what if she was unwell, hadn’t he called her up in the morning. But wasn’t it clear to him that if she didn’t get up at that hour of time which she felt was ghostly there was something wrong with her. She had tried her level best to be normal given the fact that she was a brave hearted girl, but fever has its magic… or say black magic. She couldn’t. She was soon rushed to the hospital, was she supposed to be telling him this? Wasn’t he supposed to be asking this. Her she lay on the bed thinking about how the ethics in a relationship worked. Strange she thought to herself.
Rewind à Wasn’t he always like this she thought. The other day she was stark naked in the bed with him and he had excused himself to take a call. I mean how could he? Did he not respect her or her sentiments ? She was puzzled to the core. She din’t know what to do? At times when she longed for him he was never there and then obviously she reasoned with herself, don’t they stay real far from each other, isn’t he a big busy man and has a loads of work to do, her self esteem feel to grounds she had never imagined. She longed for his sweet smile, his touch, but would get it if only he was in mood.
Coming back to the present and reminding herself of those times he had ruined her mascara, she let it go. She knew that was the best thing for her. She knew he’d call, make up for something he dint feel was his wrong and then she’d gleefully be with him again. But this time she took a different decision..  As tears made her pillow wet, she let their relationship die with the drained tears.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Pigeon Soup Anyone ???


So first, it was “Earthworms on sale” and now “Pigeon soup anyone?”
Is there always a plan B to irritate me? For instance, the previous room where I stayed, every morning greeted me with dozens and dozens of creepy earthworms free fielding on the bathroom floor. Now I have the pigeons. Its four a.m. and they would use their complete cooing (or whatever the sound of a pigeon is referred to as) power to wake me up wildly from a sweet sleep. To add to my woes is the broken kitchen window from where they enter inside and make the kitchen a birdhouse in the true sense. What began with one pigeon is now the playground of three happy pigeons. So, they fly in and out as if it’s their own territory and irritate me by their sound and all I can do is get up and shoo them away… Almost every morning I imagine myself making a pigeon soup (Don’t get it wrong, I am an animal lover otherwise, I mean a virtual pigeon soup) I am so aghast and sleepy… zzzzzzzzzzz

So, pigeon soup anyone?

Cerelac with paneer cubes


No, I am not suggesting any recipe what so ever.This is about one of the worst eating experiences I have had.  Office has a sad menu to offer most of the times, leaving me with little option but to venture out to soothe my taste buds. “Swami” restaurant at a walking distance from my office has some paneer delicacies. The other day, we thought of trying something different and ended up ordering “Paneer pasanda” which according to me (experience talk :P) is supposed to be  stuffed paneer in a mildly sweet white gravy. But what I got was a yellow colored gravy with excess of turmeric. It almost tasted like the turmeric milk mum forced me to drink when I had a cold. When I told the waiter about the same, he was more than glad to change it. But what he did instead was getting me a more dilute version of the same dish. And when it comes to food, I am on a big “NO COMPROMISE” mode. We offered to pay and leave as the staff refused to accept their mistake and get us something else to eat. One of the waiters requested us not to leave and said he’d change the order. We left him with the choice to get us a mildly sweet paneer dish. I don’t know what he got but it was bland… yuck… Even the feeling now makes me feel like vomiting. Bland, tasteless with a couple of paneer cubes floating in the white gravy... I mean, how can someone eat something as bland and tasteless like that… Cerelac with paneer cubes… eww eww

So, its good bye to “Swami” from meand good bye to the awesome Cheese Butter masala and the chocolate mousse cake….

A Book Lover’s Tag

I found A Book Lover’s Tag on Shilpa's blog - A Rose is a rose is a ros e. And I am happily taking it up to write about my books :) If...