Showing posts from June, 2012
Pain cuts pain
So wierd but so true!!
Of late my heart has started resembling the toll plaza on a highway.. You give the toll, you get in... You ask me a question , you get the answer.. You dont bother, there's nothing I have for you... I kind of have no inputs from my side... I don't give a damn, I really don't if you don't Strange..

That morning walk

Its a summer dawn.The stars are still shining bright.I secretly slip in your room and wake you up. Its our time!! As I get ready, you are already waiting with your tracks. As I hurriedly try tying my shoe laces, you cutely tie one of them for me. How happy I feel!! We start walking then jogging. As the cold air sways my hair, I feel happy being with you, you know the protection you feel when you are with an elder brother!! As we run through the lanes, we pass a group of dogs. You know I'd be afraid. You change sides with me and shoo away the dogs. Maybe it dint mean anything to you, but meant a lot to me. A protective hand - I knew you'd be there for me. I try playing you sometimes , rather all the times I am with kiddy.
Each time I see you, this incident bounces back. Growing made us go far. Our lives, studies, jobs, what and what nots, but I still love and respect you like I did then.

Happy birthday bhaiya!!

MaGiCaL mOmEnTs..

When mum appreciates your handwriting
When dad calls you his princess
When your sibling stands by your side when your parents scold you When that cute guy smiles at you
When your teacher praises you When your school principal adores you
When someone you adore says they adore you too When the first petal of your new money plant pops up When you get a haircut and it turns out to be really good When you wear that old pair of jean and it fits When your puppy comes running to you as soon as you come home tired after office When your friends remember your birthday When you get a fat discount on the Nina Ricci perfume you'd been dying to buy When you go shopping and get every item on your list When a song is dedicated to you When your secret admirer secretly keeps a chocolate at your desk When you get a 10/10 in your Maths test When you sing a song you love after ages and still remember the words When you really can't sleep and find that there's atleast one friend in your chat …

LiTtLe ThInGs I dO oN wEeKeNdS....

Paper flowers and paintings and sketches...
                                                   My cute pink crepe roses....

Pink embossed roses...

                                                           Wall sketch....

                                                        Pink and red roses...



                                                         Tissue paper flowers..

                                                          Loved this one :)

                                                         Made the basket :) and the flower


                                                                       Painted my top

                                                     And my pillow cover... loved the steps

Break Free...

Sky's my limit..
Do not tie me down here..
Let me be..
Let me explore..
My wings hurt.. behind these bars..
Stricken and bleeding..
Let me go.. let me fly
The world beyond is waiting for me
This is not where I belong,
This is not where I wanna stay..
Unlock these doors,
Open these bars,
Let my wings spread
Let me fly..
Let me be !!


So when her husband passed away, she was left with little clothing choices. This world is not good with widows. If a man's wife passes away, the world forces him to remarry, but its a different story for the widow.She is not supposed to be associated with any color. So good bye colored clothes and welcome whites!! I really dont understand this. Was his death as a consequence of something she did? Isn't it God's will entirely? When we follow our traditional manuscripts, don't they read that life and death are not in a human's hand? Aren't we just supposed to be puppets in the hands of God? Then why the attrocities? What confused me more is that while Christians wear white during weddings, they consider it lucky ,sacred and as a sign of joy, then why does the Hindu culture believe in widows wearing whites and vice versa?
            Personally talking, I love my whites. I have white shirts , tees and kurtis in every form, white with red, white with blue, pure w…


I remember when I was a kid , how attached I was with my parents. Even my sibling looked like an invasion on my territory. When finally he became a part of my territory, I behaved as if I owned him. He was not supposed to play with anyone else but me. So, when I had my male cousins come over, I had a tough time sharing him with them.Then times changed.School made me attached to my friends. We wanted to be with each other all the time. She and I shared almost all our times together.When we got our bicycles, I'd end at her place everyday after school or vice versa. Higher studies changed everything. I realised there was no place for attachment with friends. Everybody had a busy life. Then came the boy friend phase.Everybody I knew had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. So, they'd always be busy.. Strange my soul cried out !!
         Today when I stand and look back, I know I have friends, some real good ones but dont know why everybody seems to be busy with their lives, ma…

The proposal ring

It was a perfect Sunday evening. Dressed in her finesse just to please herself (an independent girl as she is , she dint believe in dressing up for others, some things should be done for your own self she often mused), she opened the tiny window. The raindrops were falling, the sweet smell of the wet mud hallucinating her. She started reading the novel and before she knew, the cool atmosphere and the warm comforter lulled her to a sweet sleep.

She wakes up... where am I she thinks to herself. She touches her ring finger, where is my ring? She feels a strange vacuum. Where am I? What am I doing here? OMG... she seems to be caught in a whirlwind of thoughts... She feels strange. It is scary and dark. She cannot find her proposal ring. She calls out for him, cannot even find him... The rain drops which were pleasing her now brought along a dampness she feared... She felt lonely...

She sat on the floor... Is there no one I can talk to? Is there no one? She checks her cell phone... Selfis…

Happy Fathers Day !!

As I busy myself; indulging in each and every activity so that I wouldn’t remember what I usually did on this special day, I reach a void, a blank state where I know I can’t control my tears. And this time I don’t. It’s better to let them flow. Dad, happy Father’s day!! We know how much of happiness this day always brought us. Long before I could Google for father’s day gifts, cards, this, and that, I always tried making this day special. The smile on your face and the warmth in your voice made me feel my efforts dint go unrecognized...

So today when I walk down the memory lane, I wanna tell you how much I love you, how much I wanted to be like you, how much I loved being with you. I loved the way you kept this line of difference between the business and your life with us. Though this gave us very less time together, but those times were fantastic. I am lucky to have grown with you to idolize. I loved the way you diplomatically handled people. I really adore your art, the drawings, …

Don't know why all stories we hear in childhood have happy endings when that's not true in real life !!

The story of slap and sorry

Ok so, you think you love her a lot. You love her for who she is, you love her enthusiasm, you love the way her locks falls on her face, you love the way she dresses, you love the way she behaves.. in short you have found yourself a near-perfect-life-partner and you cannot think about anyone else than her. Once a flirt now you don't use your x-ray eyes to scan other chics.. .Oops did I mention chics.. Sorry; you don’t scan other girls, at least not in front of her. You are not that all-time-available-for-chat-guy and neither are you online on Facebook 24x7 like you earlier did. The fear of commitment has vanished; you really want to settle down with her. Till now you were the master of your own heart and your anger knew no bounds when someone said anything against your will, even though you were the one who was wrong. Now you have learnt the art of saying "sorry", which seemed like a rare possibility for you till you met her.

But as Newton said, "Every action has …

LAXMANREKHA.... The thin line between normal touch and physical abuse, which men should not cross !!

A true story of a little girl, who did not know she was physically abused till she was no longer a little girl - reason enough why kids should be imparted sex education.           She walked down the imaginary ramp she had created for herself, her mum's shawl tied around her neck like a sash - the family's very own Miss World!! Everybody applauded, shy and blushing she ran to her mother. Good in academics and a cute and helpful child, she was the apple of her parent's eye. Dad's favorite, mum's sweet daughter, brother's cute sis, teacher's pet - her life was complete. Then the little girl started growing up, under the protective shield of her loving parents. It was time her mother explained to her what growing up for a girl was. As she bloomed into her teenage, her body started changing. A little girl as she was, she had problems wearing the normal clothes she did. She dint want to turn into a young lady, she loved being the girl she was. Later she would lau…

Rains, Roads, Rides, Romance, Remorse, Reflections …

“I love the rains. I love you. I love you more during the rains… “, she penned in her diary thinking about him. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink, blush. As she peeked in the mirror, reflections of her past made her blush even more. The rains, the wet roads, the romantic rides, his cologne – which always drew her to him, everything picture perfect. She dressed in dark clothes; he loved seeing her like that. So, when her white skin shone through them, she couldn’t but laugh at his eyes playing with her, waiting for her to be in his arms. When the raindrops trickled down her neck, he loved seeing the mosaic they formed with her hair and skin. He loved the feel of her wet skin and so did she, though she did not confess it like he did.

It was raining yet again today and she longed to see him. They met every day except the few days when he'd be too tired or too busy with his work or family. It has been long; she thought that she had enjoyed the rains with him. He had become very…


It’s a cold December evening. Somehow yummy ice-cream compliments a cold day and warm blanket. So when I am digging in the delight and reading Godfather, Mario Puzo amazes me. He has written it so well. The novel reaches a critical point and I don’t want to sleep. Just a page more I tell myself and then I get a call. A call, which I dint know would have the strength to change my life, change it in a way not even the wildest of my nightmares would have shown me… Loss Unable to digest what my kiddy brother just said, I try calling Dad. He doesn’t receive any calls, how would he? I call mum, she doesn’t answer either. I call my aunt, she answers. I ask her if I should reach the hospital or home. I am dying to hear home and that’s what she says. But now I know I should have counted on the hospital; at least there would have been a chance to see Dad alive. So, yes he was gone, gone forever. He had broken his promise of being with his little daughter throughout her life. Time to act and not…

Of broken trust and bleeding lips – her part of the story

Disclaimer :- This is just a story. Please do not relate it to me or anyone related to me.
                Love shows world in a different hue, or so she thought. Why else would shopping mean buying stuff for him, getting ready mean wearing clothes he loved to see her in, weekends mean staying by his side, friends mean his friends coz she dint have time to make her own and the likes. She saw herself -living and growing in him, for him and with him. Independent and living-life-at-her-own-terms, her parents were confused at the transformation, but what mattered was she was happy!! Happiness in itself has so many meanings, so when even the smell of washed clothes or the stroke of a paint brush would bring her happiness, now it was him who meant happiness to her. Not a different scenario though in the wide world where one can constantly hear of “Love stories” in every nook and corner. She dint want her love story to be very famous. She just wanted it to be successful… but it’s not life i…

My first tryst with black coffee... and hopefully last

Bad day at office. Had a bad fight with my friend. My senior manager gives me futile reasons for not giving me a promotion. The list starts with not-in-my-hand excuse to company-statistics excuses, both of us know which don’t matter. I forgot my favorite earrings at the dressing table. There are real less chances of me getting them bad *sob*. The food was tasteless. The only lifesavers were my classy "Calvin Klein" top and the short story I attempted to write. Gave me immense pleasure. So, when I head home I change paths to CCD - another life saver. Dint want to discuss the details of the day but had to. So the "filmy enthusiast" in me ordered a Black coffee. Remember Rishi Kapoor,Saif and Deepika sipping on the black coffee in Love Aaj Kal whenever low!!
A sip down my throat and I knew it wasn't my cuppa coffee :( Ended the coffee in haste. Hate myself for ordering it. Why did I have too? Why not order some yummy ice-cream or chocolate delight when sad like …

Dear Diary,

I am so happy to have you. I am really thankful to my decision of sharing my life with you. Now I have someone to look forward to,some one who understands my sorrows and joys. You've been the perfect listener and I love you for that. Now that I have you , I dont have to keep things in my heart. Thankyou for being there.Now I wouldn't have to see myself  from the skies in the obituary column You are a true life saver.

Love you lots,

Of Love and lust...

- My first hand at fiction writing           I feel sick. Come home from office early. Not able to cook, order food. You call. Want to have dinner together. I am already hurt. You do not have time for me. It has been two days, she is with you. You are not coming to office, helping her shop. You don’t remember I had an appointment with the doctor. I cancel the order, pop in an aspirin and dress up. There you are, with her. I feel like the third person. As we head to the pizza joint, I see how you compliment her. You know her best song and her favorite recipe. You know what she loves and what she hates. And why not I think to myself, she is your best friend. As time passes I feel sick physically - the aspirin doesn’t seem to ease me and emotionally - you make me feel like an emotional fool. Why am I even here?           As you go bonkers over her, she is simply uninterested, as her friend has just stepped in. Now you have all eyes on me. Stupid me, I am happy to get your attention. As the…

Dear Diary,

Strange things happening with me. Initially when I was strong not to cry even over really big things, today I cried at an absolute NO-NO thing.

But my eyes dont seem to accept tears anymore. Initially when I cried buckets, my eyes became red and sore and painful. Today its only like a couple of tears and my eyes are already drooping and paining. Maybe even they dont want any pain anymore.So henceforth, I'd avoid being with people who spoil my eyeliner!!

Happy Monsoons !!

I tugged my warm sheets and turned my alarm off. Looked outside the window,loved seeing the chirping birds and the coconut trees, fresh and moist from the drizzle last night. (Did I tell you, the view is awesome from my bedroom window. Coconut trees and a variety of birds plus a spring flowing at some distance, picture perfect)
         As I moved out of bed and readied myself for my morning walk, it started drizzling. By the time I was tying my shoe laces, it was pouring (*sigh*) Then started the heap of questions --
Should I venture out?
What if it pours heavily?
Where is my umbrella, oh do I have one?
Where will I buy an umbrella from, you know the transparent one with polka dots or the pink one with lace attached to its edges?
Brushing away the questions, I finally stepped out. I'd always loved rains, so today was no exception. I let my hair down as the tiny drops played with my skin. Loved the feeling. First rains,sweet morning and Alexis Jordan singing "...i…

How I can be a b**** at times!!

So now, when I am so pissed of about appraisals and promotions, when I could have written a complete thesis on self help stuff and how it doesnt really help me when I need it the most and how I feel that I am that special "ONE" whom the snake bites each time I'd climb a ladder at the next dice throw, he is being congratulated. F** such managers should never be congratulated if they dont know what it means to appreciate and motivate their subordinates, when they dont understand that humans are prone to make errors and that code cannot always be bug free, that explaining requirements in words and not penning them down does create issues and the end product thus differs from the required one.So, everyone is turning back and wishing and we have people coming over to shower good lucks, the b**** I am dont even bother to turn back and look at the crowd. Not that it either affects them or me. But I dont have to be all goody and cutie all the time and be good to people …

Ice Ice Baby!!

I'd always fancied the Brewer's cafe right above Big bazaar each time I walked past it.Don't ask me why!!

Sunday afternoon :- So when finally on a hot (literally , in terms of the sun and my mood ) afternoon, when I stepped inside, I dint want to ask more. The smell of the coffee put me in a trance, but I dint want to drink hot coffee and cold coffee is really not my thing. So, I ended up ordering an orange slush and cool blue (curacao). Loved both of them, just that the cool blue had a lot of syrup so I had to refill the ice cubes to get my perfect cool-blue-on-the -rocks.

Fast forward >> Monday morning :- As I rush to office, I see a truck with loads of really huge ice blocks.Uncovered and lying on the dirty base of the truck, all I could say was 'yuckkkkk....' . As the truck sped across, I could see the overhead trees shedding their unwanted leaves over it and birdies shitting (poor birds how would they know !!) .So next time when you request for those ice c…

I am sorry

I am sorry but I dont have that perfect figure, nor do I have a chiselled face and neither am I so tempting that people would love me, the first time they'd see me.I am sorry I dont have that much-loved-accent of talk, nor do I have the Oxford vocabulary. I don't have poker straight hair , nor do they curl gracefully.I am not the best developer at work and obviously not the one who'd always get promoted. I don't stand a position when I see those chics out there, all modern and one with style, whom you'd look at with x-ray eyes.
       But one thing I am not sorry about is that I am what I am. So I really dont care what you feel about me. I am fine with my curves, so what if they are not at the correct places. I am happy with the work I do and I hate it when you compare me with others who can do it better than me. I hate it when you (who knows absolutely nothing about me) judge me.I am ok with my not so perfect facial features and it doesn't really bother…


As I opened the window , the soft sun rays brushed across my face, gently swinging my hair. The warmth made me feel good like a bear hug from a loved one. As I stared aimlessly at the swaying coconut trees, a nearby row house caught my glance. The back door of the house opened into a small kitchen garden. I couldn't see and recognize all the plants, but it was beautiful and colorful. What really caught my eye was the fence.. As I contracted my retina, I noticed the fence was made of wooden parts, in hues of yellow,gray,red and white. I was trying to find a pattern, grey-white-yellow-red.. nope grey-yellow-white-red.. there was none But still it looked beautiful in its own unique way.
        Not trying to write any philosophy (*sigh* I cant hope I could) but I could actually rhyme it with life.. Sometimes dark, sometimes light , sometimes pleasant and sometimes just fine, it need not be in any pattern, but once mixed the outcome is a complete frame..

Stand and stare, literally!!

"What is this life full of care,

we have no time to stand and stare"

I think we have taken William Davies way too seriously when he penned the above lines. So now when we see an accident or something wrong happening in front of our eyes, we just STAND and STARE and then move on. Its not uncommon to see people flocked around an accident spot but what terrrifies me is that they just stand,stare and do nothing to help.When faced with similar situations,we'd expect good samaritans , so why not be one when others would expect the same.

       And its not just accidents, I am talking about. We see violence around us and we do nothing about it. The other day when I was strolling in my gallery, I saw a group of guys badly hitting another guy. The herd had hockey sticks, belts, what and what not's. And there was a huge crowd around there, a lot of my society members, the security guards, but no one actually did anything to save him. Maybe he was wrong , so what? Beat him to deat…

Letter to a friend

She is my new found friend. Dont know how, but she has all the patience in the world to hear me blabbering about everything and anything whenever I want to. Maybe I can credit that to her managing her job, her smart blog, her Twins , her family, her love for reading... etc etc So, today when she has gone for a holiday, she has long been waiting for.. I am missing her..
 I hope you are having a fantastic time with BF and the twins.Here are some updates. Our money plants (all three of them) have baby leaves, which are growing fast and nice,glowing with the light and dancing with the AC. I have kept them together, so they dont feel your absence. I give them a nice bath and let them enjoy the sun for some time. The crane which we can see from our cube window still clenches the huge cement block. Dont know why it is up there!! Our cube has once again become boring for me, without you.. I made many flowers - carnations, lilies etc.. Will show you when you come back.I had a bad bad ti…