I loved the way her eyelids fell and rose each time she blinked. I seemed to lose myself in the depth of her eyes. The pink tinge on her cheeks darkened each time she smiled. Her grace amused me.Her walk, her talk, the way her hair fell on her forehead, the way her finger tips lingered over the keyboard, the floral perfume she wore... She sat right next to me and I was usually lost whenever I saw her. I'd pinch myself back to reality then.Was I in love?? Weekends seemed to play havoc in my life, I couldn't see my angel. Monday blues were replaced by splendid Monday mornings when I'd await her arrivals.
It was a Monday morning. I'd been waiting for her. She dint come. Neither on Tuesday, nor on wednesday.. a whole week went by. I was so desperately waiting for her.Monday saw her in office before me. I saw her eyes red and swollen with lack of sleep. She was not cheery the way she usually is.Her smile, though still mysterious, did not convey happiness.When I finally convinced her for a coffee and asked her what the matter was, her tears started flowing. How much I wanted to kill every reason for her sorrow.She was pregnant and her boyfriend left her.My world seemed to have taken a 360 degrees stride. I dint know what to do.I asked her if she wanted to keep her kid. I told her I'd gleefully accept her and our baby. I wanted to marry her.I dint think about the world,all I knew was the infinite love I had for her. But she said she dint want the baby.We went through the medical procedure. It was we, not me and her.
It was painful for he and I couldn't see her in pain.As we battled with the pain and the afters,we found happiness in small things. Her smiles made me smile. She was the reason for my happy life. And then one day, from nowhere, dark clouds gathered. I was afraid. Her boyfriend was back, or should I say her ex-boyfriend. Wasn't I supposed to be her boyfriend. As she balanced her life between him being sorry and wanting her back in life and her being sorry to me, we started fighting.Heated exchange of words turned into ugly fights and before I knew my angel din't want me.She din't want to see me, din't want to talk to me.. Our small world was no more there.
Even today when we talk (yes, we do) her beauty still amazes me.Sometimes she says she wants to marry me and live the dream we had seen together.At other times she wants to go back to him. And there are yet other times, when she says she wants to be alone, wants to run away from everything around her.. I really don't know what to do.. I love her and want to be with her, the only thing which worries me is her indecisiveness. Should I consider this as a break up and move ahead, easier said than done, or should I just stand by her and meet her when she wants and leave her when she desires and leave the rest to fate..Help me God!!
I love him.I love his touch.I love the feel of his skin against mine.How lightly my body sways against his, like milk flowing or like the leaves fluttering with the wind. Nothing really can come between us now, nothing will. As I break free in his arms and the moon shones on my bare skin, I feel I am complete.As I entangle my fingers with his, he says he loves me and will never leave me. Life is fantastic.
Next day I smile at everyone I meet.I wear my best clothes,dab my floral perfume (he loves it) and hurry up with my office work for that wonderful evening waiting for him.My fingertips seem to have some magic, the way I quickly work to be by him once more.Life is beautiful.Thankyou God!!
My -oh-God-why-did-you-make-me-a-girl- days come and go.I am worried, he says there's nothing to worry, but I know it is.As I get a kit and wait for the results, my worst fears come true. Positive, it reads.Till now he was standing with me, hiding me in his arms. Now he toughens up and tells me to see a doctor asap and abort. I agree for the abortion but not for his toughening up.He leaves.. Its been a week, I dint go to office, he dint receive my calls, din't reply to my messages. I don't know what to do.
I go to office the following Monday.A colleague asks me about my wellbeing. I tears give way.I tell him everything. I don't know why.He stands by me, takes me to a doctor, helps me through everything.I am so thankful to him. I owe him my life.But I cannot forget my boyfriend.My new friend says he wants to marry me. I met his parents, they are so happy with me.Everybody is pampering me, I know he'd keep me happy but how do I forget my first love.How do I forget the way he made me complete.
I dont know what to do.I so much wanna be in the arms of my lover, but I owe this new friend my life. I am stuck.What do I do? Do I jsut run away and leave everything on fate, or do I just get married to this new guy or do I answer my ringing cell phone,my lover is calling..
'Meri jaan, meri jaan
Meri jaan tu ye bata,
Khud se karun wafa, ya tujhse karun....'